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  • Discussion

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: 8
    The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views and providing the writer's opinion. The arguments are well-developed and supported with examples and evidence. The writer acknowledges the validity of both perspectives and concludes with a balanced stance.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 8
    The essay is well-organized, with clear introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs. The writer uses cohesive devices and transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. The progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow.

    Lexical Resource: 7
    The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses appropriate terminology related to the topic. There are some instances of repetition and some phrases could be more varied. Overall, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
    The writer generally demonstrates accurate grammar with only a few minor errors. There is effective use of complex sentence structures and appropriate verb tenses. Some sentences could be more concise and there are occasional errors in subject-verb agreement and word choice.

    Overall: 7.5
    This essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively discusses both views. The arguments are well-supported and the writer's opinion is clear. The essay is well-structured and easy to follow. There are some minor issues with vocabulary and grammar, but they do not significantly affect the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
    Essay:

    The question of whether young people should have the freedom to choose their own profession or adopt a more pragmatic approach has sparked significant debate. Some argue that young individuals should have the freedom to pursue their desired profession, while others believe that considering future prospects is a more sensible approach. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own stance on the matter.

    Those in favor of granting young people the freedom to select their own profession assert that doing so promotes individuality and passion in their career. They contend that pursuing one's interests leads to greater job satisfaction and overall happiness. Moreover, proponents of this view argue that personal fulfillment often translates into higher levels of success and productivity, as evidenced by numerous success stories of individuals who followed their passion.

    On the other hand, there are those who argue against this viewpoint. They argue that taking a pragmatic approach is wiser as it takes into account practical factors like job market demand and financial stability. Considering one's skills and interests in relation to the demands of the job market ensures a stable and secure future. Hence, a pragmatic approach helps individuals make informed and financially sound career decisions.

    In my opinion, both perspectives hold merit. While the freedom to choose one's profession allows for personal fulfillment and passion, a pragmatic approach ensures practical considerations are taken into account. Striking a balance between these two approaches is crucial.

    In conclusion, both viewpoints possess equal strength and significance, and neither can be entirely dismissed. Although valid arguments exist on both sides, I believe that finding a middle ground is essential. Young individuals should have the freedom to pursue their desired profession, but should also consider practical aspects for a stable and secure future.

    Word count: 260 words

    Good expressions:
    1. generated varying opinions - 다양한 의견을 낳다
    2. foster individuality - 개성을 육성하다
    3. job satisfaction - 직업 만족
    4. overall happiness - 전반적인 행복
    5. proponents of this view - 이 관점의 지지자들
    6. greater success and productivity - 더 큰 성공과 생산성
    7. adopting a pragmatic approach - 실용적인 접근법을 채택
    8. practical considerations - 실용적인 고려사항
    9. job market demand - 취업시장 수요
    10. stable and secure future - 안정적이고 확실한 미래
    11. make informed decisions - 현명한 결정을 내리다
    12. sparked significant debate - 큰 논쟁을 일으켰다
    13. pursue their desired profession - 바라는 직업을 추구하다
    14. striking a balance - 균형을 잡는다
    15. possess equal strength and significance - 동등한 강도와 중요성을 갖고 있다
    16. entirely dismissed - 완전히 배제된다
    17. finding a middle ground - 타협점을 찾기
    제출한 라이팅
    The discussion about whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or adopt a pragmatic approach has generated varying opinions. Some assert that young individuals should have the freedom to choose their profession, while others hold the view that a pragmatic approach considering future prospects is more advisable. This essay will explore these viewpoints before articulating my overall stance below.

    Supporters of the notion that young people should have the freedom to choose their profession argue that this approach fosters individuality and passion in one's career. They believe that allowing individuals to pursue their interests enhances job satisfaction and overall happiness. Additionally, proponents of this view argue that personal fulfillment in a chosen profession often leads to greater success and productivity. The most compelling evidence supporting this perspective is the numerous success stories of individuals who followed their passion.

    On the contrary, others are not content with the aforementioned points. They contend that adopting a pragmatic approach is more prudent, perhaps because it considers practical considerations such as job market demand and financial stability. Furthermore, it is worth noting that aligning one's skills and interests with the demands of the job market ensures a stable and secure future. From this standpoint, it follows that a pragmatic approach helps individuals make informed and financially sound career decisions.

    In my view, both perspectives have valid points. While the freedom to choose one's profession allows for personal fulfillment and passion, a pragmatic approach ensures practical considerations are taken into account.

    In conclusion, it is evident that both viewpoints carry equal strength and significance, and neither can be refuted outright. Although valid points exist on both sides, I believe that striking a balance between these two perspectives is essential.

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