AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Problem and Solution
Many people aspire to a balance between work and other parts of their lives, but few achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this and how can these problems be overcome?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 8
The essay addresses the task prompt clearly and effectively. It discusses the problems faced in achieving work-life balance and provides practical solutions to overcome these problems. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The essay also concludes the discussion effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is mostly well-structured, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are logically organized and connected. Transition words and phrases are used to indicate the progression of ideas. However, there are a few instances of repetition and some sentence structures could have been more varied.
Lexical Resource: 7
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic. There are some instances of precise word choices and effective use of academic phrases. However, there are also some minor errors in word usage and collocation, and there could have been more variety in vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
Overall, the essay shows good control of grammar. There are accurate use of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structures. However, there are a few errors in articles and prepositions, as well as occasional awkward sentence constructions.
Overall: 7.5
Based on the evaluation of Task Response, Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range & Accuracy, the overall band score for this essay would be 7.5.
Task Response: 8
The essay addresses the task prompt clearly and effectively. It discusses the problems faced in achieving work-life balance and provides practical solutions to overcome these problems. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The essay also concludes the discussion effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is mostly well-structured, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are logically organized and connected. Transition words and phrases are used to indicate the progression of ideas. However, there are a few instances of repetition and some sentence structures could have been more varied.
Lexical Resource: 7
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic. There are some instances of precise word choices and effective use of academic phrases. However, there are also some minor errors in word usage and collocation, and there could have been more variety in vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
Overall, the essay shows good control of grammar. There are accurate use of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structures. However, there are a few errors in articles and prepositions, as well as occasional awkward sentence constructions.
Overall: 7.5
Based on the evaluation of Task Response, Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range & Accuracy, the overall band score for this essay would be 7.5.
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Many people aspire to a balance between work and other parts of their lives, but few achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this and how can these problems be overcome?
Essay:
Many individuals strive to achieve a balance between their work and other aspects of their lives, yet only a few are able to accomplish this feat. This essay will delve into the reasons behind this phenomenon and propose practical solutions to overcome these challenges.
One of the primary factors contributing to this issue is the heavy workload and long commutes faced by many employees. Additionally, individuals in certain societies often find themselves working overtime, attending frequent meetings, and embarking on erratic business trips. Consequently, these individuals are left with limited personal time, making it challenging to maintain a proper work-life balance. Furthermore, due to their inability to dedicate sufficient time to their families, they are compelled to allocate their leisure time sparingly for personal hobbies and activities.
In order to enable employees to achieve a better equilibrium between their work and personal lives, it is vital to advocate for telecommuting and flexible working hours. Governments can take proactive measures by legislating laws that restrict excessive working hours. Simultaneously, companies can organize video conferencing for international business transactions, thereby eliminating the need for unnecessary work meetings. However, individuals themselves must also make an effort to prioritize and allocate time that allows for a healthy work-life balance.
In conclusion, the challenge of achieving a harmonious balance between work and personal life is mainly attributed to grueling commutes and irregular working hours, such as overtime and frequent meetings. Implementing the aforementioned solutions can potentially ensure individuals have ample leisure time, thereby improving their overall quality of life.
[262 words]
Good expressions:
1. strive to achieve (노력하다)
2. accomplish this feat (이를 달성하다)
3. delve into (자세히 알아보다)
4. contributing to this issue (이 문제에 기여하는)
5. heavy workload (많은 업무량)
6. challenge behind (이 문제의 배경)
7. proper work-life balance (적절한 일-생활 균형)
8. dedicate sufficient time (충분한 시간을 할애하다)
9. legislating laws (법률을 제정하다)
10. proactive measures (적극적인 조치)
Many individuals strive to achieve a balance between their work and other aspects of their lives, yet only a few are able to accomplish this feat. This essay will delve into the reasons behind this phenomenon and propose practical solutions to overcome these challenges.
One of the primary factors contributing to this issue is the heavy workload and long commutes faced by many employees. Additionally, individuals in certain societies often find themselves working overtime, attending frequent meetings, and embarking on erratic business trips. Consequently, these individuals are left with limited personal time, making it challenging to maintain a proper work-life balance. Furthermore, due to their inability to dedicate sufficient time to their families, they are compelled to allocate their leisure time sparingly for personal hobbies and activities.
In order to enable employees to achieve a better equilibrium between their work and personal lives, it is vital to advocate for telecommuting and flexible working hours. Governments can take proactive measures by legislating laws that restrict excessive working hours. Simultaneously, companies can organize video conferencing for international business transactions, thereby eliminating the need for unnecessary work meetings. However, individuals themselves must also make an effort to prioritize and allocate time that allows for a healthy work-life balance.
In conclusion, the challenge of achieving a harmonious balance between work and personal life is mainly attributed to grueling commutes and irregular working hours, such as overtime and frequent meetings. Implementing the aforementioned solutions can potentially ensure individuals have ample leisure time, thereby improving their overall quality of life.
[262 words]
Good expressions:
1. strive to achieve (노력하다)
2. accomplish this feat (이를 달성하다)
3. delve into (자세히 알아보다)
4. contributing to this issue (이 문제에 기여하는)
5. heavy workload (많은 업무량)
6. challenge behind (이 문제의 배경)
7. proper work-life balance (적절한 일-생활 균형)
8. dedicate sufficient time (충분한 시간을 할애하다)
9. legislating laws (법률을 제정하다)
10. proactive measures (적극적인 조치)
제출한 라이팅
It is widely believed that many working individuals desire to maintain a balance between work and other various aspects in their lives, but a lot of them are rarely successful to accomplish the plans. This essay will examine the reasons why this is the case and suggest practical solutions to address this issue.
One of the main reasons for this trend is that a number of workers have a tendency to have overwhelming workload at their workplaces, and they usually possess long commuting hours from their home. Furthermore, many individuals who work in many societies do tasks overtime and excessive workload with erratic business trips and frequent meetings at companies. As a result, those who go work potentially obtain lack of personal time; the difficulty in maintaining work-life balance. In terms of inability to spend time with family members, they allocate limited leisure time for personal hobbies and activities.
To encourage working social individuals to have more time in their balance between work and other parts in their lives, it is essential to carry out them to do telecommuting and flexible work hours. Governments can strictly control work overtime by enacting laws to limit working hours as a solution, because there is the possibility not to be conducted successfully. In addition, companies are able to avoid unnecessary work meetings to utilise video conferencing for international business dealings. Workers themselves can try to create an effort securing their time that makes it possible to keep work-life balance.
In conclusion, a lack of possibility to maintain a balance between work and other sections of their daily lives is attributed to tiring commuting hours to their workplaces and irregular working hours such as doing overtime, frequent meetings. However, the solutions mentioned above are likely to help reserve enough leisure time to improve the quality of life.
One of the main reasons for this trend is that a number of workers have a tendency to have overwhelming workload at their workplaces, and they usually possess long commuting hours from their home. Furthermore, many individuals who work in many societies do tasks overtime and excessive workload with erratic business trips and frequent meetings at companies. As a result, those who go work potentially obtain lack of personal time; the difficulty in maintaining work-life balance. In terms of inability to spend time with family members, they allocate limited leisure time for personal hobbies and activities.
To encourage working social individuals to have more time in their balance between work and other parts in their lives, it is essential to carry out them to do telecommuting and flexible work hours. Governments can strictly control work overtime by enacting laws to limit working hours as a solution, because there is the possibility not to be conducted successfully. In addition, companies are able to avoid unnecessary work meetings to utilise video conferencing for international business dealings. Workers themselves can try to create an effort securing their time that makes it possible to keep work-life balance.
In conclusion, a lack of possibility to maintain a balance between work and other sections of their daily lives is attributed to tiring commuting hours to their workplaces and irregular working hours such as doing overtime, frequent meetings. However, the solutions mentioned above are likely to help reserve enough leisure time to improve the quality of life.
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