AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Problem and Solution
Many young people today know more about international pop and movie stars than about famous people in the history in their country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest
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Evaluation
Task Response: 8
The essay clearly addresses the given topic and provides sound arguments to support the main points. The writer acknowledges the lack of knowledge about historical figures among young people and identifies the reasons behind this trend. Additionally, the solutions proposed are relevant and directly related to increasing young people's interest in their country's history.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is generally well-organized and coherent. The ideas are logically presented, and each paragraph focuses on a clear topic. The writer uses cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, there could be more consistent use of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource: 7
The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate word choice and collocations throughout the essay. Terms such as "well-versed," "significant contributions," and "ignite their interest" enhance the quality of the writing. However, there is room for improvement in terms of the variety and sophistication of vocabulary used.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
The essay exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures, with few errors. The writer shows control over complex sentence structures and accurately uses verb tenses, pronouns, and prepositions. Additionally, there is evidence of appropriate punctuation and sentence formation.
Overall: 7.5
The essay effectively addresses the task, presents clear arguments, and suggests relevant solutions. The writing is well-structured with a good range of grammar and vocabulary. To further improve, the writer could focus on enhancing the flow of ideas with more consistent use of linking words and expanding the range of vocabulary used. Overall, this essay would likely score around Band 7.5 in the IELTS exam.
Task Response: 8
The essay clearly addresses the given topic and provides sound arguments to support the main points. The writer acknowledges the lack of knowledge about historical figures among young people and identifies the reasons behind this trend. Additionally, the solutions proposed are relevant and directly related to increasing young people's interest in their country's history.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is generally well-organized and coherent. The ideas are logically presented, and each paragraph focuses on a clear topic. The writer uses cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, there could be more consistent use of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource: 7
The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate word choice and collocations throughout the essay. Terms such as "well-versed," "significant contributions," and "ignite their interest" enhance the quality of the writing. However, there is room for improvement in terms of the variety and sophistication of vocabulary used.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
The essay exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures, with few errors. The writer shows control over complex sentence structures and accurately uses verb tenses, pronouns, and prepositions. Additionally, there is evidence of appropriate punctuation and sentence formation.
Overall: 7.5
The essay effectively addresses the task, presents clear arguments, and suggests relevant solutions. The writing is well-structured with a good range of grammar and vocabulary. To further improve, the writer could focus on enhancing the flow of ideas with more consistent use of linking words and expanding the range of vocabulary used. Overall, this essay would likely score around Band 7.5 in the IELTS exam.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Many young people today know more about international pop and movie stars than about famous people in the history in their country.
Why is this?
What can be done to increase young people’s interest
It is a well-known fact that many young people of today are more knowledgeable about international pop and movie stars than about famous figures from their country's history. This essay will explore the reasons behind this phenomenon and suggest practical solutions to increase young people's interest in their own history.
One main reason for this trend is the perceived lack of excitement in history education. Many young individuals find the subject uninteresting and dull, which leads to a lack of awareness about important local historical figures. In contrast, the allure of music and movies, which are easily accessible online, captivates their attention. Unfortunately, this means that details about local figures who have made significant contributions are relatively unknown to them.
In order to create more interest in historical figures among young people, it is essential to make history education more engaging. One effective approach is to develop story-based history textbooks that present information in a narrative form. By doing so, it becomes easier for students to understand and relate to important people and events from the past. Additionally, the creation of audiovisual materials, such as dramas, movies, and music, centered around historical figures, could capture the attention of young viewers and ignite their curiosity about their country's history.
In conclusion, the limited knowledge of historical figures among today's youth can be attributed to the uninspiring nature of history education and the lack of easily accessible information. However, by implementing the aforementioned solutions, there is a potential to significantly increase young people's awareness and interest in noteworthy figures from their country's history.
[258 words]
Good expressions:
1. well-versed: 숙지하다
2. phenomenon: 현상
3. lack of awareness: 인식 부족
4. allure: 매력
5. captivate: 사로잡다
6. significant contributions: 중요한 기여
7. ignite their curiosity: 호기심을 불러일으키다
8. easily accessible: 쉽게 이용 가능한
9. limited knowledge: 한정된 지식
10. uninspiring nature: 실망스러운 성격
11. noteworthy figures: 주목할 만한 인물
One main reason for this trend is the perceived lack of excitement in history education. Many young individuals find the subject uninteresting and dull, which leads to a lack of awareness about important local historical figures. In contrast, the allure of music and movies, which are easily accessible online, captivates their attention. Unfortunately, this means that details about local figures who have made significant contributions are relatively unknown to them.
In order to create more interest in historical figures among young people, it is essential to make history education more engaging. One effective approach is to develop story-based history textbooks that present information in a narrative form. By doing so, it becomes easier for students to understand and relate to important people and events from the past. Additionally, the creation of audiovisual materials, such as dramas, movies, and music, centered around historical figures, could capture the attention of young viewers and ignite their curiosity about their country's history.
In conclusion, the limited knowledge of historical figures among today's youth can be attributed to the uninspiring nature of history education and the lack of easily accessible information. However, by implementing the aforementioned solutions, there is a potential to significantly increase young people's awareness and interest in noteworthy figures from their country's history.
[258 words]
Good expressions:
1. well-versed: 숙지하다
2. phenomenon: 현상
3. lack of awareness: 인식 부족
4. allure: 매력
5. captivate: 사로잡다
6. significant contributions: 중요한 기여
7. ignite their curiosity: 호기심을 불러일으키다
8. easily accessible: 쉽게 이용 가능한
9. limited knowledge: 한정된 지식
10. uninspiring nature: 실망스러운 성격
11. noteworthy figures: 주목할 만한 인물
제출한 라이팅
It is widely recognized that today's young individuals are well-versed in global celebrities, especially musicians and movie stars. However, a concerning issue arises as many of them lack awareness of historical figures in their own country. This essay explores the reasons behind this trend and suggests practical solutions.
One main reason for this trend is the perceived dullness of the history subject, leading to a lack of awareness about important local historical figures. In contrast, the appeal of music and movies, easily accessible online, grabs their attention. Unfortunately, details about local figures who made significant contributions remain relatively unknown.
To spark more interest in historical figures among young people, it's crucial to make history education more engaging. One effective approach is creating story-based history textbooks, making it easier to understand important people and events. Additionally, developing audiovisual materials like dramas, movies, and music focused on historical figures could capture the attention of young viewers and ignite their interest in their country's history.
In conclusion, the limited knowledge of historical figures among today's youth is linked to the uninspiring nature of history education and a lack of available information. However, the suggested solutions have the potential to significantly increase awareness about noteworthy figures in history.
One main reason for this trend is the perceived dullness of the history subject, leading to a lack of awareness about important local historical figures. In contrast, the appeal of music and movies, easily accessible online, grabs their attention. Unfortunately, details about local figures who made significant contributions remain relatively unknown.
To spark more interest in historical figures among young people, it's crucial to make history education more engaging. One effective approach is creating story-based history textbooks, making it easier to understand important people and events. Additionally, developing audiovisual materials like dramas, movies, and music focused on historical figures could capture the attention of young viewers and ignite their interest in their country's history.
In conclusion, the limited knowledge of historical figures among today's youth is linked to the uninspiring nature of history education and a lack of available information. However, the suggested solutions have the potential to significantly increase awareness about noteworthy figures in history.
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