아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [8]
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on whether space tourism is a positive or negative development. The student provides reasons to support their opinion and gives examples to illustrate their points.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a specific idea and is supported with appropriate examples and details. The transitions between paragraphs are mostly smooth, although some could be improved to create stronger connections between ideas.
Lexical Resource: [6]
The student uses a range of vocabulary, although there are some instances of repetitive word choice and limited use of advanced vocabulary. There are also a few errors in word choice and collocation. However, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and uses relevant vocabulary to convey the ideas.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate usage. There are some errors throughout the essay, including verb tense inconsistencies, subject-verb agreement issues, and missing articles. However, the errors do not significantly hinder communication.
Overall: [7]
The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument. The ideas are well-developed and supported with appropriate examples. Although there are some errors in vocabulary and grammar, they do not significantly impact the overall clarity of the essay. Based on these criteria, the overall band score would be a 7.
Task Response: [8]
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on whether space tourism is a positive or negative development. The student provides reasons to support their opinion and gives examples to illustrate their points.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a specific idea and is supported with appropriate examples and details. The transitions between paragraphs are mostly smooth, although some could be improved to create stronger connections between ideas.
Lexical Resource: [6]
The student uses a range of vocabulary, although there are some instances of repetitive word choice and limited use of advanced vocabulary. There are also a few errors in word choice and collocation. However, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and uses relevant vocabulary to convey the ideas.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate usage. There are some errors throughout the essay, including verb tense inconsistencies, subject-verb agreement issues, and missing articles. However, the errors do not significantly hinder communication.
Overall: [7]
The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument. The ideas are well-developed and supported with appropriate examples. Although there are some errors in vocabulary and grammar, they do not significantly impact the overall clarity of the essay. Based on these criteria, the overall band score would be a 7.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In recent years, the possibility of space travel has captured the interest of many, sparking debates about the potential for future space tourism. While there are varying perspectives on this matter, I firmly believe that the development of space tourism would have more negative implications than positive ones.
One undeniable advantage of space travel is the unparalleled opportunity it offers for both aesthetic appreciation and educational exploration. Additionally, this industry has the potential to bring in significant economic benefits through the attraction of tourists. Furthermore, advancements made in space technology could potentially have far-reaching benefits for other sectors, such as the discovery of new resources on other planets or even in black holes.
However, it is essential to consider the drawbacks associated with this development. The foremost concern is the practicality of space tourism, particularly in terms of budget allocation and environmental impact. The colossal expenditures required for space projects are predominantly funded by government budgets, which could be better utilized for more pressing issues on Earth, such as food security and infrastructure development. Additionally, the increased frequency of space travel may exacerbate the global climate crisis, as it would likely result in more space debris being left behind as travelers use and discard products.
In conclusion, while space travel undoubtedly presents unique opportunities and holds the potential for economic gains, it is vital to weigh these advantages against the disadvantages associated with space tourism. The immense financial investment required and the detrimental environmental effects outweigh the potential benefits. Therefore, it is prudent to approach the development of space tourism with caution.
[256 words]
Good expressions:
1. sparked debates - 논란을 불러일으키다
2. unparalleled opportunity - 비할 데 없는 기회
3. aesthetic appreciation - 미적인 감상
4. far-reaching benefits - 광범위한 이익
5. practicality of space tourism - 우주 관광의 현실성
6. budget allocation - 예산 배정
7. pressing issues - 시급한 문제
8. exacerbate the global climate crisis - 전 세계적 기후 위기를 악화시키다
9. weigh these advantages against the disadvantages - 이점과 단점을 저울질하다
10. approach the development - 발전을 접근하다
One undeniable advantage of space travel is the unparalleled opportunity it offers for both aesthetic appreciation and educational exploration. Additionally, this industry has the potential to bring in significant economic benefits through the attraction of tourists. Furthermore, advancements made in space technology could potentially have far-reaching benefits for other sectors, such as the discovery of new resources on other planets or even in black holes.
However, it is essential to consider the drawbacks associated with this development. The foremost concern is the practicality of space tourism, particularly in terms of budget allocation and environmental impact. The colossal expenditures required for space projects are predominantly funded by government budgets, which could be better utilized for more pressing issues on Earth, such as food security and infrastructure development. Additionally, the increased frequency of space travel may exacerbate the global climate crisis, as it would likely result in more space debris being left behind as travelers use and discard products.
In conclusion, while space travel undoubtedly presents unique opportunities and holds the potential for economic gains, it is vital to weigh these advantages against the disadvantages associated with space tourism. The immense financial investment required and the detrimental environmental effects outweigh the potential benefits. Therefore, it is prudent to approach the development of space tourism with caution.
[256 words]
Good expressions:
1. sparked debates - 논란을 불러일으키다
2. unparalleled opportunity - 비할 데 없는 기회
3. aesthetic appreciation - 미적인 감상
4. far-reaching benefits - 광범위한 이익
5. practicality of space tourism - 우주 관광의 현실성
6. budget allocation - 예산 배정
7. pressing issues - 시급한 문제
8. exacerbate the global climate crisis - 전 세계적 기후 위기를 악화시키다
9. weigh these advantages against the disadvantages - 이점과 단점을 저울질하다
10. approach the development - 발전을 접근하다
제출한 라이팅
In recent years, the space travel has been possible for some time and the future space tourism is being supported by some people. While there can be various perspectives on this, I am of an opinion that space tourism is a negative development.
One of the notable advantages that space travel has is that it offers surreal exploration that humankind have never experienced before. It hold significant values to who look for aesthetical and educational opportunities, thereby earning decent money from tourists. Additionally, the technological advancement within the space could be beneficial to other sectors such as finding new resources from the other planets or black holes.
However, it is imperative to acknowledge the negative aspects of such development. The issues on space tourism should consider more practical approach, in relation to budget and environmental effects. The projects on space requires astronomical figures of money which is mostly allocated from the government budget. I believe such budget would be used in more practical usages such as food and infrastructures in the earth, where people live in now. Moreover, if humankinds develop more space tourism, current global climate crisis might be exacerbated to universal crisis. To exemplify this, the increasing travels might result in more litters in the space. While people enjoy the marvellous galaxy, the products people use and consume during the tour can be left behind in the space.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that space travel provides once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and it can potential industry to increas economical benefits. However, it is crucial to consider disadvantages caused by space tourism. Considering the financial input the space advancement requires and environmental harms, the space tourism development does more harms than goods.
One of the notable advantages that space travel has is that it offers surreal exploration that humankind have never experienced before. It hold significant values to who look for aesthetical and educational opportunities, thereby earning decent money from tourists. Additionally, the technological advancement within the space could be beneficial to other sectors such as finding new resources from the other planets or black holes.
However, it is imperative to acknowledge the negative aspects of such development. The issues on space tourism should consider more practical approach, in relation to budget and environmental effects. The projects on space requires astronomical figures of money which is mostly allocated from the government budget. I believe such budget would be used in more practical usages such as food and infrastructures in the earth, where people live in now. Moreover, if humankinds develop more space tourism, current global climate crisis might be exacerbated to universal crisis. To exemplify this, the increasing travels might result in more litters in the space. While people enjoy the marvellous galaxy, the products people use and consume during the tour can be left behind in the space.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that space travel provides once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and it can potential industry to increas economical benefits. However, it is crucial to consider disadvantages caused by space tourism. Considering the financial input the space advancement requires and environmental harms, the space tourism development does more harms than goods.
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