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Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: 7
    The student has effectively addressed the prompt and presented their opinion on whether space tourism is a positive or negative development. They have provided supporting arguments and reached a conclusion.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 8
    The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas. The student effectively uses linking words and phrases to connect their ideas and create coherence within the essay.

    Lexical Resource: 7
    The student demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some appropriate use of academic and topic-specific vocabulary. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved for greater precision and accuracy.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
    The student demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and uses them accurately for the most part. There are only a few minor errors in sentence structure and verb tense.

    Overall: 7.5
    Based on the evaluation of the four criteria, the overall band score for this essay is 7.5.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
    Essay:

    In recent years, space travel has become a reality, and there is growing support for the development of space tourism in the future. While there are differing opinions on this matter, I believe that space tourism is a negative development.

    One of the notable advantages of space travel is the opportunity for surreal exploration and the potential for aesthetic and educational experiences. Additionally, the advancements in technology within the space industry could have positive implications for other sectors, such as the discovery of new resources on distant planets or in black holes. However, it is important to acknowledge the negative aspects of this development.

    The practical aspects of space tourism, such as budget allocation and environmental impact, need to be considered. The vast amounts of money required for these space projects are often funded by the government, and I believe that such budgetary resources could be better utilized for more practical purposes, such as addressing food insecurity and improving infrastructure on Earth. Furthermore, the development of space tourism may exacerbate the current global climate crisis, leading to a universal crisis. Increased travel to space could result in more litter and pollution, as tourists may inadvertently leave behind waste and debris.

    Moreover, the focus on space tourism may divert attention and resources from more pressing issues on Earth. Instead of investing in extravagant space projects, governments and organizations should allocate funds towards solving problems on our planet, such as poverty, healthcare, and education. By prioritizing space tourism, we risk neglecting the needs of our own society and perpetuating inequality.

    In conclusion, while space travel offers unique and unprecedented opportunities, we must carefully consider the disadvantages of space tourism. Considering the significant financial investments and potential environmental harms involved, the development of space tourism does more harm than good.

    [261 words]

    Good expressions:
    1. growing support for
    - 지지가 증가하고 있다

    2. surreal exploration
    - 현실감 없는 탐험

    3. positive implications
    - 긍정적인 영향

    4. practical purposes
    - 실용적인 목적

    5. exacerbate the current global climate crisis
    - 현재의 지구 기후 위기를 악화시키다

    6. inadvertently
    - 우발적으로

    7. divert attention and resources
    - 주의와 자원을 딴데로 돌리다

    8. perpetuating inequality
    - 불평등을 지속시키다
    제출한 라이팅
    In recent years, space travel has become a reality, and there is growing support for the development of space tourism in the future. While there are differing opinions on this matter, I believe that space tourism is a negative development.

    One of the notable advantages of space travel is the opportunity for surreal exploration and the potential for aesthetic and educational experiences. Additionally, the advancements in technology within the space industry could have positive implications for other sectors, such as the discovery of new resources on distant planets or in black holes. However, it is important to acknowledge the negative aspects of this development.

    The practical aspects of space tourism, such as budget allocation and environmental impact, need to be considered. The vast amounts of money required for these space projects are often funded by the government, and I believe that such budgetary resources could be better utilized for more practical purposes, such as addressing food insecurity and improving infrastructure on Earth. Furthermore, the development of space tourism may exacerbate the current global climate crisis, leading to a universal crisis. Increased travel to space could result in more litter and pollution, as tourists may inadvertently leave behind waste and debris.

    In conclusion, while space travel offers unique and unprecedented opportunities, we must carefully consider the disadvantages of space tourism. Considering the significant financial investments and potential environmental harms involved, the development of space tourism does more harm than good.

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