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모범답안 5-8월호 출시
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AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
  • Discussion

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: 7
    The student presents a clear argument that computers cannot fully replace teachers in the classroom and explains the reasons behind this. However, there are some parts where the response could be more focused on directly addressing the question.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 7
    The essay is well-organized and ideas are presented logically with clear paragraph structure. Transitions between paragraphs and sentences are generally smooth. Some parts could benefit from clearer linking words or phrases, especially when introducing new points.

    Lexical Resource: 7
    The student demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses it effectively to express ideas. There are some instances of repetition and a few errors in word choice, but overall the language is appropriate for the task.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
    The student shows a good range of grammatical structures and uses them accurately for the most part. There are a few errors in verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement, as well as some minor punctuation errors. However, these do not significantly detract from the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.

    Overall: 7
    The student presents a well-developed argument and supports it with relevant examples. The essay demonstrates a good command of language and effectively addresses the question. With some minor improvements in task response and cohesion, the essay could achieve a higher band score.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.
    Essay:

    As computers are increasingly used in education, there is a debate about the role of teachers in the classroom. While some argue that computers make learning more enjoyable and accessible, I believe that teachers will always have an essential presence in the learning process.

    There is no denying that computers provide a fun and interactive way for students to acquire knowledge. The tactile experience and user-friendly software make learning a pleasurable task, especially for young children. Additionally, the availability of digital books, simulators, and other educational materials ensures that information is easily accessible to students at a higher educational level.

    However, despite the advancements in intelligent software, human interaction remains crucial in the learning process. Teachers possess the expertise to identify the specific needs of individual students. They can explain complex concepts and adapt their teaching methods to suit different learning styles, a skill that cannot be replicated by even the most sophisticated computer software.

    While computers are becoming more prevalent in classrooms, teachers should embrace their role as guides rather than mere transmitters of information. They need to be adaptable, staying updated with technological advancements, and serving as problem solvers to facilitate students' discovery of knowledge.

    In conclusion, I firmly believe that teachers will continue to play a vital role in the classroom, especially at the primary level. While computers may enhance the learning experience, they cannot replace the invaluable human interaction that teachers provide. The key is to foster an environment where technology and teaching methods complement each other, ensuring the best possible learning outcomes for students.

    Word count: 247 words

    Good expressions:
    1. acquisition of knowledge - 지식습득
    2. enjoyable task - 즐거운 과제
    3. grasping of new knowledge - 새로운 지식 이해
    4. academic materials - 학술 자료
    5. human interaction - 인간적 상호작용
    6. complex concepts - 복잡한 개념
    7. sophisticated software - 정교한 소프트웨어
    8. essential presence - 필수적인 존재
    9. advances in intelligent software - 지능적 소프트웨어의 발전
    10. specific needs of individual students - 개별 학생의 특정 요구
    11. different learning styles - 다양한 학습 스타일
    12. transmitters of information - 정보 전달자
    13. technological advancements - 기술적 발전
    14. facilitate students' discovery of knowledge - 학생들의 지식 발견을 도와주다
    15. foster an environment - 환경 조성
    제출한 라이팅
    Nobody can argue that the acquisition of knowledge is more fun and easier with computers. The mere activity of touching and exploring this device constitutes an enjoyable task for a kid. This, accompanied with the relaxing attitude and software interactivity, usually conduce to a better grasping of new knowledge. At a higher educational level; the availability of digital books, simulator and other academic materials, provide the student with an ever accessible source of information, that otherwise would not be at hand.

    But, besides the increasing complexity and behavior of intelligent software, which is usually embedded in the academic digital material, the need of human interaction in the learning process will always be present, at least in the foreseeable future. There is the necessity for a human being to be able to determine what the specifics needs of each individual are. The expertise of a teacher in how to explain and adapt complex concepts to different individuals can hardly be mimicked by a computer, no matter how sophisticated its software is.

    As computers are becoming a common tool for teaching, teachers should be more aware of their role as guides in the acquisition of knowledge rather than transmitters of facts. They have to be open minded to the changes that are taking places, keep updated and serve as a problem solvers in the learning process, thus allowing students to discover the fact for themselves.

    To summarize, in my personal view, teachers play and will() play an important role in the classroom, especially at the primary level. No matter how complex computers become, there will be no replacement for the human interaction, but in the way haw this interaction takes place.

    공유

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