AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Opinion
In some countries, the differences in ages between parents and children are greater than in the past. Do you think the advantages of the development outweigh the disadvantages?
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Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay adequately addresses the given task and presents both the advantages and disadvantages of having greater age differences between parents and children. The writer clearly states their opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, there could have been more detailed and specific examples to support the arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6.5
The essay is generally well-organized and the ideas flow logically. There is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some instances where the connection between sentences and paragraphs could be improved for a smoother flow. Additionally, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could have been made clearer.
Lexical Resource: 6.5
The vocabulary used in the essay is adequate, with some attempts at using less common words and phrases. However, there are also some instances of repetitive language and a lack of variety in vocabulary. More complex and academic vocabulary could have been used to enhance the essay.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
Overall, the grammar is accurate. There are minor errors in sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and word choice. Some sentences could be further developed to avoid choppiness. There is also room for improvement in the use of complex grammatical structures and sentence variety.
Overall: 6.5
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents clear arguments. There is room for improvement in terms of coherence, vocabulary, and grammar. With some refinements in these areas, the essay has the potential to reach a higher band score. Therefore, the overall band score for this essay is 6.5.
Task Response: 7
The essay adequately addresses the given task and presents both the advantages and disadvantages of having greater age differences between parents and children. The writer clearly states their opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, there could have been more detailed and specific examples to support the arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6.5
The essay is generally well-organized and the ideas flow logically. There is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some instances where the connection between sentences and paragraphs could be improved for a smoother flow. Additionally, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could have been made clearer.
Lexical Resource: 6.5
The vocabulary used in the essay is adequate, with some attempts at using less common words and phrases. However, there are also some instances of repetitive language and a lack of variety in vocabulary. More complex and academic vocabulary could have been used to enhance the essay.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
Overall, the grammar is accurate. There are minor errors in sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and word choice. Some sentences could be further developed to avoid choppiness. There is also room for improvement in the use of complex grammatical structures and sentence variety.
Overall: 6.5
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents clear arguments. There is room for improvement in terms of coherence, vocabulary, and grammar. With some refinements in these areas, the essay has the potential to reach a higher band score. Therefore, the overall band score for this essay is 6.5.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
In some countries, the differences in ages between parents and children are greater than in the past. Do you think the advantages of the development outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's society, there are some countries where there is a greater age difference between parents and children than in the past. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend, ultimately arguing that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin with, it is undeniable that families with larger age gaps face certain disadvantages. One notable drawback is the generation gap that exists within the family, which poses a significant obstacle to effective communication. For instance, parents and children may have fewer common interests, requiring parents to make a greater effort in understanding their children's emotions and concerns. Additionally, engaging in physical activities with their children becomes more challenging for older parents. Physical activities play a crucial role in children's development and immune system, but elderly parents may have limited opportunities to partake in recreational activities together.
However, it is essential to acknowledge the potential benefits of being young parents. Young parents can assume the role of protectors for their children. While some children may desire their parents to be their friends, it is expected that parents are more mature and responsible for their children's well-being. As children are naturally insecure, it is crucial for parents to provide them with a secure and supportive social environment, which older parents can offer. Moreover, considering the financial and time-consuming nature of raising children, it is more preferable for young parents, who have a smaller age gap with their children, to be socially and economically stable before having children.
In conclusion, despite the disadvantages of having elderly parents, a more practical approach should be considered when it comes to raising children. A moderate age difference provides a stable social foundation for children and ensures that parents possess the necessary qualifications to raise them effectively. To build a healthy family, it is crucial to strike a balance between the advantages and disadvantages of the age gaps between parents and children.
[261 words]
Good expressions:
1. trend: 추세
2. advantages and disadvantages: 장단점
3. generation gap: 세대차이
4. effective communication: 효과적인 의사소통
5. common interests: 공통의 관심사
6. understanding emotions and concerns: 감정과 걱정을 이해하기
7. engaging in physical activities: 신체 활동에 참여하기
8. development and immune system: 발달과 면역체계
9. assume the role of protectors: 보호자의 역할을 맡다
10. well-being: 안녕, 즐거움
11. secure and supportive social environment: 안전하고 지지적인 사회적 환경
12. socially and economically stable: 사회적 경제적으로 안정되어 있는
13. moderate age difference: 적절한 나이 차이
14. necessary qualifications: 필요한 자질
15. strike a balance: 균형을 유지하다.
To begin with, it is undeniable that families with larger age gaps face certain disadvantages. One notable drawback is the generation gap that exists within the family, which poses a significant obstacle to effective communication. For instance, parents and children may have fewer common interests, requiring parents to make a greater effort in understanding their children's emotions and concerns. Additionally, engaging in physical activities with their children becomes more challenging for older parents. Physical activities play a crucial role in children's development and immune system, but elderly parents may have limited opportunities to partake in recreational activities together.
However, it is essential to acknowledge the potential benefits of being young parents. Young parents can assume the role of protectors for their children. While some children may desire their parents to be their friends, it is expected that parents are more mature and responsible for their children's well-being. As children are naturally insecure, it is crucial for parents to provide them with a secure and supportive social environment, which older parents can offer. Moreover, considering the financial and time-consuming nature of raising children, it is more preferable for young parents, who have a smaller age gap with their children, to be socially and economically stable before having children.
In conclusion, despite the disadvantages of having elderly parents, a more practical approach should be considered when it comes to raising children. A moderate age difference provides a stable social foundation for children and ensures that parents possess the necessary qualifications to raise them effectively. To build a healthy family, it is crucial to strike a balance between the advantages and disadvantages of the age gaps between parents and children.
[261 words]
Good expressions:
1. trend: 추세
2. advantages and disadvantages: 장단점
3. generation gap: 세대차이
4. effective communication: 효과적인 의사소통
5. common interests: 공통의 관심사
6. understanding emotions and concerns: 감정과 걱정을 이해하기
7. engaging in physical activities: 신체 활동에 참여하기
8. development and immune system: 발달과 면역체계
9. assume the role of protectors: 보호자의 역할을 맡다
10. well-being: 안녕, 즐거움
11. secure and supportive social environment: 안전하고 지지적인 사회적 환경
12. socially and economically stable: 사회적 경제적으로 안정되어 있는
13. moderate age difference: 적절한 나이 차이
14. necessary qualifications: 필요한 자질
15. strike a balance: 균형을 유지하다.
제출한 라이팅
In today’s world, in some countries, the age gaps between parents and children are greater than in the past. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of such trends and argue that the advantages outweigh the disadventages.
Firstly, it is undeniable that families with bigger age gaps have notable drawbacks. The generation gap within the family would be a huge obstacle in their communication. To exemplify this, there will be less common interest between the parents and children, which requires more effort for parents to understand children’s emotion and worries. Additionally, it would more difficult to engage physically with children. While growing up, physical activities are significant for children’s development and immune system, but as parents are quire old, there will be less chance to enjoy recreational activities together.
However, it is more imperative to acknowledge the potential benefits of being young parents. The parents can act as guardians to children. Even though some children wish there parents to be their friends, the parents are expected to be more mature and to take care of the children. As kids are insecure individuals yet, parents should provide secure social group by teaching eocial norms and embracing them, which is suitable for elderly parents. Moreover, considering children’s food and education, rasing children is a pretty time and money consuming job. Therefore, young parents those who have less difference in ages with children have more possibilities to face hardships on childcare. Consequently, it is more preferable to have kids when they are socially and economically stable with bigger age gaps.
In conclusion, even though there can be some disadvantages to have children as elderly, it is crucial to consider more practical approach when it comes to raising children. The certain age gap provides safe social circle to children and offer stable qualifications to parents, thereby building a healthy family.
Firstly, it is undeniable that families with bigger age gaps have notable drawbacks. The generation gap within the family would be a huge obstacle in their communication. To exemplify this, there will be less common interest between the parents and children, which requires more effort for parents to understand children’s emotion and worries. Additionally, it would more difficult to engage physically with children. While growing up, physical activities are significant for children’s development and immune system, but as parents are quire old, there will be less chance to enjoy recreational activities together.
However, it is more imperative to acknowledge the potential benefits of being young parents. The parents can act as guardians to children. Even though some children wish there parents to be their friends, the parents are expected to be more mature and to take care of the children. As kids are insecure individuals yet, parents should provide secure social group by teaching eocial norms and embracing them, which is suitable for elderly parents. Moreover, considering children’s food and education, rasing children is a pretty time and money consuming job. Therefore, young parents those who have less difference in ages with children have more possibilities to face hardships on childcare. Consequently, it is more preferable to have kids when they are socially and economically stable with bigger age gaps.
In conclusion, even though there can be some disadvantages to have children as elderly, it is crucial to consider more practical approach when it comes to raising children. The certain age gap provides safe social circle to children and offer stable qualifications to parents, thereby building a healthy family.
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