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  • Two parts

Theseday, a number of companies usually focus on their latest product. This essay will explore why business tend to higlight that. I would like to say that this situation is positive.

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: 7

    The essay addresses the task and explores why businesses focus on their new products. The student provides examples and arguments to support their points. However, the essay could have delved deeper into the reasons behind this focus and could have provided more analysis.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 6.5

    The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are mostly well-organized, but the linking of ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs could be improved. Some transitions are missing, making the essay somewhat disjointed.

    Lexical Resource: 6

    The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are some repetitive words and phrases. Although the essay effectively uses vocabulary related to the topic, some errors in word choice and collocation are present. Some sentences could also be rephrased to enhance clarity.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7

    The essay showcases a good range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate usage. However, there are occasional errors in subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and word order. The student could improve the use of complex sentence structures for further grammatical range.

    Overall: 6.75

    The overall band score for this essay is 6.75. The student demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant examples and arguments. However, improvements can be made in terms of coherence and cohesion, lexical resource, and grammatical accuracy.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    Theseday, a number of companies usually focus on their latest product. This essay will explore why business tend to higlight that. I would like to say that this situation is positive.
    Essay:

    In today's world, it is common for companies to place emphasis on their latest products. This essay will delve into the reasons why businesses tend to highlight their new offerings, and argue that this situation has several positive implications.

    There are various factors that explain why companies prioritize promoting their new products. Firstly, it is inherent in human nature to have a fascination with novelty and innovation, rather than with outdated items. When a company advertises its new products, individuals are more inclined to make purchases without any concerns. For instance, I personally bought a new Apple cell phone with an advanced camera after seeing an advertisement last year, even though I had upgraded my phone just three months prior. Additionally, customers are more likely to be drawn to companies that constantly update their product offerings. Take online shopping platforms, for example; in order to maintain customers' interest, owners must regularly upload new products. If they fail to do so, customers may perceive the shopping platform as inactive and seek alternatives.

    It is argued that businesses focusing on their new products is a positive situation. Primarily, renowned coffee chain, Starbucks, continually introduces a range of products tailored to different seasons, including cups and dishes. This allows customers to have a wider selection and purchase according to their preferences. Moreover, new products contribute to enhancing the convenience of customers' lives. When companies introduce new products, they often integrate advanced technology and skills into the existing ones. For instance, Apple, one of the world's most renowned businesses, recently launched a phone with a feature that allows users to transfer their phone number to others simply by shaking the device. This innovation eliminates the need for manual input and makes the process more efficient.

    In conclusion, businesses highlight their new products due to the appeal of novelty and the need to capture customers' attention. Moreover, this situation contributes to the convenience of people's lives and expands their choices. Overall, the emphasis on new products by companies can be deemed beneficial.

    Word count: 265

    Good expressions:
    1. prioritize promoting their new products - 새로운 제품 홍보에 우선순위를 두다
    2. inherent in human nature - 인간의 본성에 내재된
    3. make purchases without any concerns - 걱정 없이 구매를 진행하다
    4. constantly update their product offerings - 제품 오퍼링을 지속적으로 업데이트하다
    5. perceive the shopping platform as inactive - 쇼핑 플랫폼이 활동하지 않고 있는 것으로 인식하다
    6. tailored to different seasons - 다양한 계절에 맞춰진
    7. contributes to enhancing the convenience - 편의성 향상에 기여하다
    8. integrate advanced technology and skills - 선진 기술과 역량을 통합하다
    9. eliminates the need for manual input - 수동 입력의 필요성을 제거한다
    10. makes the process more efficient - 과정을 더욱 효율적으로 만든다.
    제출한 라이팅
    These days, a number of companies usually focus on their latest product. This essay will explore why businesses tend to highlight that. I would like to say that this situation is positive.

    There are several reasons why people highlight that their products are new. One reason is that it is human nature. In other words, most people are interested in new things instead of outdated ones. If a company advertises its new products, people will buy the latest one without worry. For instance, in my case, I purchased a new Apple cell phone with an additional advanced camera after I watched an advertisement a year ago, although I changed my phone three months ago. In addition, customers could be more interested in companies. Take internet shopping sites, for example; the owner should upload their product a week. Otherwise, customers think that the shopping mall owner does not work hard, and they would not like this internet shopping site and look for other ones.

    I argue that businesses focusing on their new products is a positive situation. First of all, Starbucks, which is one of the most famous coffee shops, launches a variety of products ranging from cups to dishes per weather. Therefore, customers can choose and buy what they want. Also, new products make customers' lives more convenient.
    When companies launch new products, advanced technology and skill is added to up-to-date ones. For example, in the case of Apple, which is one of the most popular businesses in the world, today, it launched a phone with skill where the phone number can be moved to others by shaking a phone. By doing so, this phone can help people give others their phone numbers by just using a shaking motion instead of pressing their number and sending them.

    In conclusion, the reasons why many companies highlight that their products are new are human nature and getting customers' attention. Also, this situation makes people's lives convenient, and customers' choices could be broadened.

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