AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Problem and Solution
Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the pr
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of increasing demand for freshwater and suggesting measures that governments and individuals can take to respond to the problem. However, the essay could provide more specific examples and explanations to support the points made.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical sequence, but the essay could benefit from more cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: 5
The vocabulary used in the essay is adequate, but there is room for improvement. The essay includes some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic, such as "water supply," "restoration," and "fossil fuel." However, there is repetition of phrases like "water use demand" and "freshwater shortage problem." Additionally, the essay could benefit from more varied and precise vocabulary choices.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The grammar in the essay is generally accurate, with a variety of sentence structures used. However, there are a few errors in sentence structure and word choice, such as "change seewater to freshwater" instead of "change seawater to freshwater." Additionally, there are some instances of awkward phrasing and missing articles.
Overall: 6
The overall band score for this essay is 6. The essay demonstrates a decent understanding of the topic and addresses the task requirements. However, there are areas for improvement in terms of providing specific examples, using more cohesive devices, and expanding the range of vocabulary.
Task Response: 6
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of increasing demand for freshwater and suggesting measures that governments and individuals can take to respond to the problem. However, the essay could provide more specific examples and explanations to support the points made.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical sequence, but the essay could benefit from more cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: 5
The vocabulary used in the essay is adequate, but there is room for improvement. The essay includes some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic, such as "water supply," "restoration," and "fossil fuel." However, there is repetition of phrases like "water use demand" and "freshwater shortage problem." Additionally, the essay could benefit from more varied and precise vocabulary choices.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The grammar in the essay is generally accurate, with a variety of sentence structures used. However, there are a few errors in sentence structure and word choice, such as "change seewater to freshwater" instead of "change seawater to freshwater." Additionally, there are some instances of awkward phrasing and missing articles.
Overall: 6
The overall band score for this essay is 6. The essay demonstrates a decent understanding of the topic and addresses the task requirements. However, there are areas for improvement in terms of providing specific examples, using more cohesive devices, and expanding the range of vocabulary.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the pr
Introduction:
Freshwater scarcity has become a pressing global issue due to its limited availability in certain regions. The escalating demand for water can be attributed to advancements in technology and infrastructure, as well as the adverse effects of climate change. However, by implementing effective measures, both governments and individuals can address this problem and ensure the sustainable management of freshwater resources.
Main Paragraph 1:
One of the primary causes of the increasing demand for freshwater is the development of technology and infrastructure, which has made water easily accessible anytime and anywhere. With the advent of modern appliances and water supply systems, people have become more reliant on water for various purposes. Consequently, this heightened usage further strains the already limited freshwater resources in certain regions. Furthermore, climate change exacerbates the scarcity of water by causing concentrated rainfall and prolonged droughts. While concentrated rainfall adds pressure on existing water supply systems, severe droughts restrict the restoration ability of water sources in comparison to the rising demand.
Main Paragraph 2:
To address the issue of escalating water demand, it is imperative for governments to take proactive measures. Firstly, governments should focus on the reuse and restoration of freshwater. This can be achieved through the construction of water storage dams in strategic locations and increased investment in research and development. By implementing advanced technologies, the government can effectively clean wastewater and convert seawater into freshwater, thereby expanding the available water resources. Additionally, individuals play a crucial role in mitigating water scarcity. People should practice water conservation by adopting measures such as reducing unnecessary water usage and employing water-saving techniques in households and industries. Furthermore, reducing the dependence on fossil fuels contributes to curbing climate change, which in turn helps alleviate the strain on freshwater resources.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, the escalating demand for freshwater has transformed it into a global problem. However, by implementing measures such as the reuse and restoration of freshwater, alongside individual efforts to conserve water and mitigate climate change, this issue can be effectively addressed. It is the collective responsibility of governments and individuals to ensure the sustainable management of freshwater resources and secure a better future for generations to come.
[262 words]
Good expressions:
1. freshwater scarcity - 물 부족
2. limited availability - 제한된 가용성
3. pressing global issue - 심각한 국제 문제
4. advancements in technology and infrastructure - 기술과 인프라 발전
5. easily accessible - 쉽게 접근할 수 있는
6. sustainable management - 지속 가능한 관리
7. heightened usage - 증가된 사용량
8. strains the already limited freshwater resources - 이미 한정된 미세먼지 자원에 부담을 주다
9. the advent of modern appliances and water supply systems - 현대적인 기기 및 수도 시스템의 도래
10. exacerbates the scarcity of water - 물 부족을 악화시킨다
11. restoration ability of water sources - 수원 자원의 복구 능력
12. proactive measures - 선제적인 대응책
13. reuse and restoration of freshwater - 물 재사용 및 복원
14. strategic locations - 전략적인 위치
15. increased investment in research and development - 연구 및 개발에 대한 투자 증가
16. convert seawater into freshwater - 해수를 담수로 전환하다
17. curbing climate change - 기후 변화 억제하기
18. alleviate the strain on freshwater resources - 담수 자원에 가해지는 압력을 완화시키다
19. collective responsibility - 집단적 책임
20. secure a better future for generations to come - 다가오는 세대들에게 더 나은 미래를 보장하다
Freshwater scarcity has become a pressing global issue due to its limited availability in certain regions. The escalating demand for water can be attributed to advancements in technology and infrastructure, as well as the adverse effects of climate change. However, by implementing effective measures, both governments and individuals can address this problem and ensure the sustainable management of freshwater resources.
Main Paragraph 1:
One of the primary causes of the increasing demand for freshwater is the development of technology and infrastructure, which has made water easily accessible anytime and anywhere. With the advent of modern appliances and water supply systems, people have become more reliant on water for various purposes. Consequently, this heightened usage further strains the already limited freshwater resources in certain regions. Furthermore, climate change exacerbates the scarcity of water by causing concentrated rainfall and prolonged droughts. While concentrated rainfall adds pressure on existing water supply systems, severe droughts restrict the restoration ability of water sources in comparison to the rising demand.
Main Paragraph 2:
To address the issue of escalating water demand, it is imperative for governments to take proactive measures. Firstly, governments should focus on the reuse and restoration of freshwater. This can be achieved through the construction of water storage dams in strategic locations and increased investment in research and development. By implementing advanced technologies, the government can effectively clean wastewater and convert seawater into freshwater, thereby expanding the available water resources. Additionally, individuals play a crucial role in mitigating water scarcity. People should practice water conservation by adopting measures such as reducing unnecessary water usage and employing water-saving techniques in households and industries. Furthermore, reducing the dependence on fossil fuels contributes to curbing climate change, which in turn helps alleviate the strain on freshwater resources.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, the escalating demand for freshwater has transformed it into a global problem. However, by implementing measures such as the reuse and restoration of freshwater, alongside individual efforts to conserve water and mitigate climate change, this issue can be effectively addressed. It is the collective responsibility of governments and individuals to ensure the sustainable management of freshwater resources and secure a better future for generations to come.
[262 words]
Good expressions:
1. freshwater scarcity - 물 부족
2. limited availability - 제한된 가용성
3. pressing global issue - 심각한 국제 문제
4. advancements in technology and infrastructure - 기술과 인프라 발전
5. easily accessible - 쉽게 접근할 수 있는
6. sustainable management - 지속 가능한 관리
7. heightened usage - 증가된 사용량
8. strains the already limited freshwater resources - 이미 한정된 미세먼지 자원에 부담을 주다
9. the advent of modern appliances and water supply systems - 현대적인 기기 및 수도 시스템의 도래
10. exacerbates the scarcity of water - 물 부족을 악화시킨다
11. restoration ability of water sources - 수원 자원의 복구 능력
12. proactive measures - 선제적인 대응책
13. reuse and restoration of freshwater - 물 재사용 및 복원
14. strategic locations - 전략적인 위치
15. increased investment in research and development - 연구 및 개발에 대한 투자 증가
16. convert seawater into freshwater - 해수를 담수로 전환하다
17. curbing climate change - 기후 변화 억제하기
18. alleviate the strain on freshwater resources - 담수 자원에 가해지는 압력을 완화시키다
19. collective responsibility - 집단적 책임
20. secure a better future for generations to come - 다가오는 세대들에게 더 나은 미래를 보장하다
제출한 라이팅
It is true that freshwater is limited in some areas on earth, resulting in becoming a worldwide problem due to growing demand of water. However, this problem can be solved by efforts of governments and individuals to cope with it.
To begin with, global water demand increase is because that technology and infrastructures of water supply have developed, leading to convenience of using water anytime and anywhere. Moreover, climate change such as concentrated rain, severe drought and so on causes limitation of water restoration ability compared to people’s water use demand.
However, I firmly believe that this global problem can be resolved by interests and measures of governments and people. Above all, governments have efforts on reuse as well as restoration of freshwater. That is, the government has to construct water storage dams in proper locations and invest budget to R&D, which is to clean water of after use and change seewater to freshwater. Also, individuals must try to save water itself and reduce use of fossil fuel to prevent to accelerate of climate change.
To sum up, it is clear that freshwater shortage problem according to escalating demand of water can be solved by efforts of governments and individuals respectively.
To begin with, global water demand increase is because that technology and infrastructures of water supply have developed, leading to convenience of using water anytime and anywhere. Moreover, climate change such as concentrated rain, severe drought and so on causes limitation of water restoration ability compared to people’s water use demand.
However, I firmly believe that this global problem can be resolved by interests and measures of governments and people. Above all, governments have efforts on reuse as well as restoration of freshwater. That is, the government has to construct water storage dams in proper locations and invest budget to R&D, which is to clean water of after use and change seewater to freshwater. Also, individuals must try to save water itself and reduce use of fossil fuel to prevent to accelerate of climate change.
To sum up, it is clear that freshwater shortage problem according to escalating demand of water can be solved by efforts of governments and individuals respectively.
공유
返回列表 😎
