아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Two parts
Many supermarkets are selling more and more products that are imported from other countries instead of selling food that is locally sourced. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [6]
The student addresses the main points of the question and provides reasons why supermarkets are selling more imported products. However, the explanation for the reasons is lacking in depth and could have been further developed.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay is generally coherent and logical. The student uses linking words and phrases to connect ideas, although some transitions could have been smoother. The essay is divided into paragraphs to separate different ideas, but the organization could have been improved for a clearer structure.
Lexical Resource: [5]
The student demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate academic words and phrases. However, there are also instances of repetition and overuse of certain words and phrases. More variety and precision in vocabulary would have improved the essay.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [5]
The student demonstrates a satisfactory control of grammar, with occasional errors and some inconsistent sentence structures. There are minor punctuation errors throughout the essay. More complex sentence structures and a wider range of grammatical structures would have enhanced the student's score.
Overall: [5.5]
The essay shows a reasonable understanding of the topic, but it lacks depth and could have been more developed. The language use is adequate but could be improved with more varied vocabulary and more complex sentence structures. Overall, the essay is competent but does not fully meet the criteria for higher band scores.
Task Response: [6]
The student addresses the main points of the question and provides reasons why supermarkets are selling more imported products. However, the explanation for the reasons is lacking in depth and could have been further developed.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay is generally coherent and logical. The student uses linking words and phrases to connect ideas, although some transitions could have been smoother. The essay is divided into paragraphs to separate different ideas, but the organization could have been improved for a clearer structure.
Lexical Resource: [5]
The student demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate academic words and phrases. However, there are also instances of repetition and overuse of certain words and phrases. More variety and precision in vocabulary would have improved the essay.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [5]
The student demonstrates a satisfactory control of grammar, with occasional errors and some inconsistent sentence structures. There are minor punctuation errors throughout the essay. More complex sentence structures and a wider range of grammatical structures would have enhanced the student's score.
Overall: [5.5]
The essay shows a reasonable understanding of the topic, but it lacks depth and could have been more developed. The language use is adequate but could be improved with more varied vocabulary and more complex sentence structures. Overall, the essay is competent but does not fully meet the criteria for higher band scores.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Many supermarkets are selling more and more products that are imported from other countries instead of selling food that is locally sourced.
What are the reasons for this?
Is this a positive or negative development?
Increasingly, many supermarkets are choosing to stock imported products rather than locally sourced food. This trend can be attributed to factors such as regional limitations, the costly process of transferring goods, and the availability of cheap labor in other countries. However, I believe that this shift towards importing goods can have detrimental effects on the domestic economy.
One reason why supermarkets opt for international products is the difficulty in sourcing certain items locally. For instance, in urban areas with colder climates, it may be nearly impossible to find exotic fruits like mangoes or bananas. In such cases, supermarkets have no choice but to import these items from tropical countries. Additionally, the process of transferring their own products for sale can be complex and expensive, involving large budgets. On the other hand, importing goods from other countries can often be a more cost-effective solution. Since international workers are often paid lower wages compared to their domestic counterparts, the prices of imported products tend to be significantly lower.
However, this preference for imported goods can have negative consequences for the country's economy. Relying heavily on international products not only diminishes the domestic market, but also creates unemployment as local manufacturers and farmers struggle to compete. Moreover, the increased number of job seekers in need of financial assistance can strain the government's resources and potentially lead to financial instability.
In conclusion, although many supermarkets choose to sell imported products due to factors like regional limitations, costly transfer processes, and cheap overseas labor, I believe this shift is detrimental to the country's economy. Rather than relying so heavily on international goods, it is important to prioritize and support local industries in order to maintain a stable and prosperous domestic market.
[265 words]
Good expressions:
1. trend can be attributed to - 이 추세는 ~로 귀속될 수 있다.
2. opt for - 선택하다.
3. sourcing certain items - 특정 상품을 입수하는 것
4. have no choice but to - ~할 수 밖에 없다.
5. tend to be - ~하는 경향이 있다.
6. diminishes the domestic market - 국내 시장을 약화시킨다.
7. struggle to compete - 경쟁을 위해 고군분투하다.
8. strain the government's resources - 정부의 자금을 압박하다.
9. financial instability - 재정 불안정
One reason why supermarkets opt for international products is the difficulty in sourcing certain items locally. For instance, in urban areas with colder climates, it may be nearly impossible to find exotic fruits like mangoes or bananas. In such cases, supermarkets have no choice but to import these items from tropical countries. Additionally, the process of transferring their own products for sale can be complex and expensive, involving large budgets. On the other hand, importing goods from other countries can often be a more cost-effective solution. Since international workers are often paid lower wages compared to their domestic counterparts, the prices of imported products tend to be significantly lower.
However, this preference for imported goods can have negative consequences for the country's economy. Relying heavily on international products not only diminishes the domestic market, but also creates unemployment as local manufacturers and farmers struggle to compete. Moreover, the increased number of job seekers in need of financial assistance can strain the government's resources and potentially lead to financial instability.
In conclusion, although many supermarkets choose to sell imported products due to factors like regional limitations, costly transfer processes, and cheap overseas labor, I believe this shift is detrimental to the country's economy. Rather than relying so heavily on international goods, it is important to prioritize and support local industries in order to maintain a stable and prosperous domestic market.
[265 words]
Good expressions:
1. trend can be attributed to - 이 추세는 ~로 귀속될 수 있다.
2. opt for - 선택하다.
3. sourcing certain items - 특정 상품을 입수하는 것
4. have no choice but to - ~할 수 밖에 없다.
5. tend to be - ~하는 경향이 있다.
6. diminishes the domestic market - 국내 시장을 약화시킨다.
7. struggle to compete - 경쟁을 위해 고군분투하다.
8. strain the government's resources - 정부의 자금을 압박하다.
9. financial instability - 재정 불안정
제출한 라이팅
A lot of supermarkets import merchandise from other nations, instead they sell their local food. This is because of the regional environment, expensive transfer process, and cheap expenses for global workforces, but I think this is a negative development due to its domestic economy.
There are several reasons why they prefer international goods. To begin with, it may not be easy to look for specific items in the local area. If it is a cold urban city, it is almost impossible to find organic tropical fruits like mangoes or bananas, so they need to get them from tropical countries. Secondly, selling their original products might be a complicated transferring process, which takes up more budgets than importing from a third country. Lastly, it is because the international workers’ minimum wages can be less than domestic ones, the prices of products are also much lower.
I think it is a bad situation for the economic system of the country. If they rely on international stuff and appeal to consume biased products for consumers, their inner market condition can be going bad. It can lead employees to lose their jobs because there are many worthy workers out of the country. Since the number of job seekers has increased, there will be many of them finding financial aid, and the government’s help. Even the financial administrations can collapse, since people can not have any conditions to work.
In conclusion, there are many markets that sell international products rather than local ones because of the environmental condition of the place, high-cost conveying procedure, and inexpensive wage for overseas workers, but due to the national finance, I think it is a negative development.
There are several reasons why they prefer international goods. To begin with, it may not be easy to look for specific items in the local area. If it is a cold urban city, it is almost impossible to find organic tropical fruits like mangoes or bananas, so they need to get them from tropical countries. Secondly, selling their original products might be a complicated transferring process, which takes up more budgets than importing from a third country. Lastly, it is because the international workers’ minimum wages can be less than domestic ones, the prices of products are also much lower.
I think it is a bad situation for the economic system of the country. If they rely on international stuff and appeal to consume biased products for consumers, their inner market condition can be going bad. It can lead employees to lose their jobs because there are many worthy workers out of the country. Since the number of job seekers has increased, there will be many of them finding financial aid, and the government’s help. Even the financial administrations can collapse, since people can not have any conditions to work.
In conclusion, there are many markets that sell international products rather than local ones because of the environmental condition of the place, high-cost conveying procedure, and inexpensive wage for overseas workers, but due to the national finance, I think it is a negative development.
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