아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Two parts
The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses the given topic and provides arguments for the consequence and benefits of expressing complaints on social media. However, some points could have been developed further or supported with more specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6.5
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transition between paragraphs could be improved for a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, some sentences lack coherence and clarity due to word choice or sentence structure.
Lexical Resource: 6
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, including some less common words and phrases. However, there is some repetition and a few inaccuracies in word choice, which affect the precision of expression.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6.5
The essay shows a variety of sentence structures, and most sentences are grammatically correct. However, there are instances of errors in verb agreement, tense consistency, and word order, which slightly hinder the overall clarity and accuracy.
Overall: 6.5
Based on the evaluation of Task Response, Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range & Accuracy, the overall band score for this essay is 6.5.
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses the given topic and provides arguments for the consequence and benefits of expressing complaints on social media. However, some points could have been developed further or supported with more specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6.5
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transition between paragraphs could be improved for a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, some sentences lack coherence and clarity due to word choice or sentence structure.
Lexical Resource: 6
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, including some less common words and phrases. However, there is some repetition and a few inaccuracies in word choice, which affect the precision of expression.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6.5
The essay shows a variety of sentence structures, and most sentences are grammatically correct. However, there are instances of errors in verb agreement, tense consistency, and word order, which slightly hinder the overall clarity and accuracy.
Overall: 6.5
Based on the evaluation of Task Response, Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range & Accuracy, the overall band score for this essay is 6.5.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?
Essay:
In the era of social media, communication dynamics have dramatically transformed, providing individuals with a platform to express their frustrations and complaints publicly. While this trend carries some negative consequences, such as the potential for misinformation and incitement of violence, I firmly believe in the benefits it offers, namely the freedom to interact in a virtual space and the power to mobilize others.
One of the most notable repercussions of social media is the ability for individuals to disseminate unknown information without restrictions, leading to a susceptible society. With minimal regulation, people can share content on platforms like Instagram or LinkedIn, regardless of its authenticity or source. Consequently, the public often falls victim to the influence of such posts. For instance, followers may refrain from visiting a recommended restaurant based on a negative comment by a social media influencer.
On the other hand, the prevalence of social platforms does come with advantages, including increased freedom to express grievances and connect with people from different countries. The ability for individuals to remain anonymous in these online communities allows them to voice their dissatisfaction without fear of repercussions. Moreover, such platforms provide a channel for communication with individuals worldwide. During the current pandemic, for instance, social media played a pivotal role in disseminating crucial information about COVID-19, keeping the public up-to-date.
In conclusion, the rise of social media apps has made it easier for individuals to voice their frustrations and complaints due to the freedom they enjoy online and the ability to connect with people globally. However, it is important to acknowledge the potential drawbacks, such as the sharing of unreliable information and the potential for certain influencers to manipulate society towards violent activities.
[258 words]
Good expressions:
1. dramatically transformed (근본적으로 변화시키다)
2. platform (플랫폼)
3. express frustrations and complaints (불만과 불평을 표현하다)
4. negative consequences (부정적인 결과)
5. potential for misinformation (잘못된 정보의 가능성)
6. incitement of violence (폭력 유발)
7. firmly believe (단호하게 믿다)
8. benefits (혜택들)
9. freedom to interact (상호작용의 자유)
10. mobilize others (타인을 움직이다)
11. repercussions (결과)
12. disseminate (보급하다)
13. authenticitity (진실성)
14. susceptible society (취약한 사회)
15. regulation (규제)
16. falls victim (피해를 입다)
17. negativity comment (부정적인 댓글)
18. influencer (인플루언서)
19. prevalence (유행)
20. increased freedom (증가된 자유)
21. voice their dissatisfaction (불만을 표명하다)
22. anonymous (익명의)
23. repercussions (결과)
24. pivotal role (중요한 역할)
25. disseminating (보급하는)
26. crucial information (필수적 정보)
27. up-to-date (최신의)
In the era of social media, communication dynamics have dramatically transformed, providing individuals with a platform to express their frustrations and complaints publicly. While this trend carries some negative consequences, such as the potential for misinformation and incitement of violence, I firmly believe in the benefits it offers, namely the freedom to interact in a virtual space and the power to mobilize others.
One of the most notable repercussions of social media is the ability for individuals to disseminate unknown information without restrictions, leading to a susceptible society. With minimal regulation, people can share content on platforms like Instagram or LinkedIn, regardless of its authenticity or source. Consequently, the public often falls victim to the influence of such posts. For instance, followers may refrain from visiting a recommended restaurant based on a negative comment by a social media influencer.
On the other hand, the prevalence of social platforms does come with advantages, including increased freedom to express grievances and connect with people from different countries. The ability for individuals to remain anonymous in these online communities allows them to voice their dissatisfaction without fear of repercussions. Moreover, such platforms provide a channel for communication with individuals worldwide. During the current pandemic, for instance, social media played a pivotal role in disseminating crucial information about COVID-19, keeping the public up-to-date.
In conclusion, the rise of social media apps has made it easier for individuals to voice their frustrations and complaints due to the freedom they enjoy online and the ability to connect with people globally. However, it is important to acknowledge the potential drawbacks, such as the sharing of unreliable information and the potential for certain influencers to manipulate society towards violent activities.
[258 words]
Good expressions:
1. dramatically transformed (근본적으로 변화시키다)
2. platform (플랫폼)
3. express frustrations and complaints (불만과 불평을 표현하다)
4. negative consequences (부정적인 결과)
5. potential for misinformation (잘못된 정보의 가능성)
6. incitement of violence (폭력 유발)
7. firmly believe (단호하게 믿다)
8. benefits (혜택들)
9. freedom to interact (상호작용의 자유)
10. mobilize others (타인을 움직이다)
11. repercussions (결과)
12. disseminate (보급하다)
13. authenticitity (진실성)
14. susceptible society (취약한 사회)
15. regulation (규제)
16. falls victim (피해를 입다)
17. negativity comment (부정적인 댓글)
18. influencer (인플루언서)
19. prevalence (유행)
20. increased freedom (증가된 자유)
21. voice their dissatisfaction (불만을 표명하다)
22. anonymous (익명의)
23. repercussions (결과)
24. pivotal role (중요한 역할)
25. disseminating (보급하는)
26. crucial information (필수적 정보)
27. up-to-date (최신의)
제출한 라이팅
Social media apps have changed the communication system in the world. This trend has made it more accessible for nations to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. There are some repercussions as people can sensationalise information and persuade society to show violence. I vehemently hold this view that this assertion has some benefits such as having more flexibility in virtual reality and the most effective path to urge others.
To begin with, the unparalleled consequences of using social media are first, folks can publish unknown information about everything and people can easily be affected by the news. In other words, folks can send everything on Instagram or LinkedIn without any restrictions which causes numerous issues in society because people do not pay attention to the source of those posts. Hence, posters can make comments about everything around the world. consequently, because of their fame people will follow them on social media. For instance, when one of them makes a compliment about a restaurant their followers will not pay a visit.
On the other hand, this common way has some advantages as well like as it gives the nation more freedom and people can have connections with foreigners. To clarify, despite the fact that all communities can hide their identity on social platforms which gives them the freedom to complain about everything that made them disgruntled is one of the irrefutable advantages of this trend and does not let other individuals experience the same thing. Moreover,they have this accessibility to communicate with others. For example, during the pandemic, most viral news came through social media as a result we had access to the latest news about COVID-19.
To sum up, online apps have made it easier for all walks of life to complain about something due to the more freedom that they have and have connections with overseas. However, there may be some repercussions like as the see of unknown information that people post that is not trustworthy and overpowering some blugers which can exacerbate society if they persuade folks to do violent activities.
To begin with, the unparalleled consequences of using social media are first, folks can publish unknown information about everything and people can easily be affected by the news. In other words, folks can send everything on Instagram or LinkedIn without any restrictions which causes numerous issues in society because people do not pay attention to the source of those posts. Hence, posters can make comments about everything around the world. consequently, because of their fame people will follow them on social media. For instance, when one of them makes a compliment about a restaurant their followers will not pay a visit.
On the other hand, this common way has some advantages as well like as it gives the nation more freedom and people can have connections with foreigners. To clarify, despite the fact that all communities can hide their identity on social platforms which gives them the freedom to complain about everything that made them disgruntled is one of the irrefutable advantages of this trend and does not let other individuals experience the same thing. Moreover,they have this accessibility to communicate with others. For example, during the pandemic, most viral news came through social media as a result we had access to the latest news about COVID-19.
To sum up, online apps have made it easier for all walks of life to complain about something due to the more freedom that they have and have connections with overseas. However, there may be some repercussions like as the see of unknown information that people post that is not trustworthy and overpowering some blugers which can exacerbate society if they persuade folks to do violent activities.
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