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모범답안 5-8월호 출시
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  • Problem and Solution

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider, the rich get richer and the poor even get poor. What problems can the situation cause and give the solutions?

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: [8]
    The essay effectively addresses the given task by discussing the problems caused by the widening gap between the rich and the poor and offering some solutions. The student provides relevant examples to support their points and gives a clear conclusion.

    Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
    The essay is generally well-organized and coherent. The student uses appropriate paragraphs to present their ideas, and there is a clear progression of thoughts. However, there could be some improvement in the use of linking words and phrases to enhance the overall coherence.

    Lexical Resource: [6]
    The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary with some examples of less common words and phrases. However, there is room for improvement in terms of collocations and more precise word choices. The essay could benefit from using more varied and complex vocabulary to enhance the quality of expression.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
    Overall, the grammar is accurate with a good range of sentence structures. There are some occasional errors or awkward phrasings, but they do not significantly affect the overall understanding of the essay. Some sentence construction could be improved for greater clarity.

    Overall: [7]
    The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and effectively addresses the task requirements. With some improvements in coherence, vocabulary, and sentence construction, the essay could achieve a higher score. Based on these criteria, the overall band score would be 7.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider, the rich get richer and the poor even get poor. What problems can the situation cause and give the solutions?
    The widening gap between the rich and poor is a pressing issue in today's global society. This growing inequality poses several problems that need to be addressed. In this essay, I will discuss the consequences of this wealth disparity and propose potential solutions to mitigate its impact.

    The increasing wealth gap has had profound effects on our society, leading to numerous setbacks. One significant problem caused by this disparity is economic instability, which in turn results in social instability. Research has shown that societies with a larger wealth gap are more likely to experience a range of social and health problems, including higher rates of mental illness and crime.

    To tackle these issues, governments must take decisive action as this problem directly affects the future of our society. Implementing effective policies to reduce the gap between the rich and poor is imperative. One potential solution is to improve social welfare programs that support the most vulnerable members of society. This would ensure that they are provided with the necessary resources and opportunities to alleviate their financial burdens. Additionally, offering equal access to education regardless of an individual's socio-economic background could prove to be crucial in breaking the cycle of poverty in the long term. By providing quality education to all, we can equip individuals with the knowledge and skills they need to succeed, irrespective of their economic circumstances.

    In conclusion, it is evident that the widening gap between the rich and the poor presents significant challenges. To address this issue, governments and individuals must work together to reduce the disparity for the betterment of future generations and society as a whole.

    [257 words]

    Good expressions:
    1. widening gap between the rich and poor - 부자와 가난한 사람들 사이의 광범위한 격차
    2. poses several problems - 여러 가지 문제를 제기한다
    3. wealth disparity - 부의 불균형
    4. mitigate its impact - 그 영향을 완화시키다
    5. pressing issue - 급박한 문제
    6. profound effects - 깊은 영향
    7. economic instability - 경제적 불안정
    8. social instability - 사회적 불안정
    9. alleviate their financial burdens - 그들의 재정 부담을 덜다
    10. break the cycle of poverty - 빈곤의 연속을 깨다
    11. quality education - 고품질 교육
    12. equip individuals with the knowledge and skills - 개인들에게 지식과 기술을 제공하다
    13. for the betterment of - ~의 개선을 위하여
    제출한 라이팅
    The widening gap between the rich and poor is a growing global phenomenon, causing concern among many experts. This issue, which should not be overlooked, can lead to several societal problems. In response to this issue, the government should implement diverse policies and offer effective solutions.

    Firstly, the widening gap between the rich and poor has resulted in severe effects on our society, generating many problems. It is clear that our society is facing several drawbacks that the gap between the rich and the poor has caused. For instance, one significant problems is an economic instability, which leads to social instability. According to some studies, it has been shown that societies with a larger wealth gap are much more likely to have health and social problems, including higher rates of mental illness and crime.

    To address these problems, it is clear that much needs to be done by governments because this issue is directly linked to our future society. By implementing several effective solutions, the widening gap between the rich and poor can be reduced. First solution can be an improvement of social welfare policies, supporting most socially vulnerable groups. Another solution can be offering of an overall education regardless of their socio-economic background. It could be a crucial way that allows poor people to break the cycle of poverty in a long-term perspective.

    In conclusion, it is clear that the widening gap between the rich and poor is presents significant challenges. If addressing this issue is inevitable, governments and individuals must work together to reduce the gap for the benefit of future generations and society.

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    • Diddl220
      Diddl220

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