아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Problem and Solution
The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider, the rich get richer and the poor even get poor. What problems can the situation cause and give the solutions?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing the problems that arise from the widening gap between the rich and poor, as well as offering solutions. The ideas are developed with relevant examples and there is a clear conclusion. However, the essay could have provided more specific examples to support the claims made.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented logically and there is a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transition words are used effectively to connect ideas. However, the essay could have had more varied sentence structures for better coherence.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate and relevant collocations. However, there are instances where word choices could have been more precise. Some repetitive language is also observed, particularly in the use of "gap between the rich and poor."
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The essay contains a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. There are occasional errors in grammar, such as subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. More complex grammatical structures and accurate sentence constructions would have improved the score in this criterion.
Overall: 6.5
Based on the assessment of the four criteria, the essay would score a 6.5 overall, which would roughly translate to a Band 7 in the IELTS Writing test.
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing the problems that arise from the widening gap between the rich and poor, as well as offering solutions. The ideas are developed with relevant examples and there is a clear conclusion. However, the essay could have provided more specific examples to support the claims made.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented logically and there is a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transition words are used effectively to connect ideas. However, the essay could have had more varied sentence structures for better coherence.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate and relevant collocations. However, there are instances where word choices could have been more precise. Some repetitive language is also observed, particularly in the use of "gap between the rich and poor."
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The essay contains a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. There are occasional errors in grammar, such as subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. More complex grammatical structures and accurate sentence constructions would have improved the score in this criterion.
Overall: 6.5
Based on the assessment of the four criteria, the essay would score a 6.5 overall, which would roughly translate to a Band 7 in the IELTS Writing test.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider, the rich get richer and the poor even get poor. What problems can the situation cause and give the solutions?
The widening gap between the rich and the poor is a growing phenomenon that is causing concern worldwide. This issue gives rise to significant problems that cannot be overlooked by society. In order to address this issue, governments should implement a range of policies and offer effective solutions. (45 words)
One of the major problems caused by the widening gap between the rich and the poor is economic and social instability. There is a clear correlation between a larger wealth gap and higher rates of mental illness and crime, as seen in numerous studies. Therefore, it is crucial for governments to take action to alleviate these problems. (47 words)
To tackle this issue, it is essential for governments to implement a variety of effective solutions. Firstly, they could improve social welfare policies to provide support for the most vulnerable groups in society. This would help create a more equal playing field. Additionally, offering comprehensive education to all, regardless of their socio-economic background, would be a crucial step towards breaking the cycle of poverty in the long-term. (64 words)
In conclusion, it is evident that the widening gap between the rich and the poor presents significant challenges for society. In order to address this issue, governments and individuals must come together and make efforts to reduce this gap for the benefit of the next generation and society as a whole. (40 words)
Word count: 196 words
Good expressions:
1. a growing phenomenon - 성장하는 현상
2. causes concern - 우려를 불러일으킴
3. cannot be overlooked - 간과될 수 없음
4. implement a range of policies - 다양한 정책을 실행하다
5. economic and social instability - 경제적 사회적 불안정성
6. a clear correlation - 명백한 상관관계
7. take action - 대응 조치를 취하다
8. alleviate problems - 문제를 완화시키다
9. implement effective solutions - 효과적인 해결책을 실행하다
10. provide support - 지원을 제공하다
11. create a more equal playing field - 보다 공평한 입지를 조성하다
12. break the cycle of poverty - 가난의 연속을 끊다
13. presents significant challenges - 상당한 어려움을 제시함
14. come together - 모여들다
One of the major problems caused by the widening gap between the rich and the poor is economic and social instability. There is a clear correlation between a larger wealth gap and higher rates of mental illness and crime, as seen in numerous studies. Therefore, it is crucial for governments to take action to alleviate these problems. (47 words)
To tackle this issue, it is essential for governments to implement a variety of effective solutions. Firstly, they could improve social welfare policies to provide support for the most vulnerable groups in society. This would help create a more equal playing field. Additionally, offering comprehensive education to all, regardless of their socio-economic background, would be a crucial step towards breaking the cycle of poverty in the long-term. (64 words)
In conclusion, it is evident that the widening gap between the rich and the poor presents significant challenges for society. In order to address this issue, governments and individuals must come together and make efforts to reduce this gap for the benefit of the next generation and society as a whole. (40 words)
Word count: 196 words
Good expressions:
1. a growing phenomenon - 성장하는 현상
2. causes concern - 우려를 불러일으킴
3. cannot be overlooked - 간과될 수 없음
4. implement a range of policies - 다양한 정책을 실행하다
5. economic and social instability - 경제적 사회적 불안정성
6. a clear correlation - 명백한 상관관계
7. take action - 대응 조치를 취하다
8. alleviate problems - 문제를 완화시키다
9. implement effective solutions - 효과적인 해결책을 실행하다
10. provide support - 지원을 제공하다
11. create a more equal playing field - 보다 공평한 입지를 조성하다
12. break the cycle of poverty - 가난의 연속을 끊다
13. presents significant challenges - 상당한 어려움을 제시함
14. come together - 모여들다
제출한 라이팅
As the widening gap between the rich and poor has become a growing phenomenon over the world, many experts are concerned. This is because it can lead to several problems that our society should not overlooked. In response to this issue, the government should implement diverse policies and offer effective solutions.
To begin with, the widening gap between the rich and poor has resulted in severe effects on our society, generating many problems. It is clear that our society is facing several drawbacks that the gap between the rich and the poor caused. For instance, one of significant problems is an economic instability and it leads to social instability. According to some studies, it has shown that societies with a larger wealth gap are much more likely to have health and social problems, including higher rates of mental illness and crime.
To address these problems, it is clear that much needs to be done by governments because this issue is directly linked to our future society. By implementing several effective solutions, the widening gap between the rich and poor can reduce. First solution can be a improving of social welfare policies, supporting most social vulnerable groups. The other solution can be offering of a whole education regardless of their socio-economic background. It could be a crucial way that allow poor people to break the cycle of poverty in long-term perspective.
In conclusion, it is clear that the widening gap between the rich and poor is significant challenges. If facing this issue is inevitable, governments and individuals should effort together to reduce the gap for next generation and society.
To begin with, the widening gap between the rich and poor has resulted in severe effects on our society, generating many problems. It is clear that our society is facing several drawbacks that the gap between the rich and the poor caused. For instance, one of significant problems is an economic instability and it leads to social instability. According to some studies, it has shown that societies with a larger wealth gap are much more likely to have health and social problems, including higher rates of mental illness and crime.
To address these problems, it is clear that much needs to be done by governments because this issue is directly linked to our future society. By implementing several effective solutions, the widening gap between the rich and poor can reduce. First solution can be a improving of social welfare policies, supporting most social vulnerable groups. The other solution can be offering of a whole education regardless of their socio-economic background. It could be a crucial way that allow poor people to break the cycle of poverty in long-term perspective.
In conclusion, it is clear that the widening gap between the rich and poor is significant challenges. If facing this issue is inevitable, governments and individuals should effort together to reduce the gap for next generation and society.
공유
목록으로 돌아가기 😎
