AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Opinion
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The student clearly states their disagreement with the idea of universities accepting equal numbers of male and female students. They provide reasoning for their opinion, discussing the historical discrimination against women and how it has improved over time. They also argue that universities have the right to select their students based on their own goals and reasons. The arguments are developed and supported throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The student presents their arguments in a logical and cohesive manner. Linking words and phrases are used effectively to connect ideas and show relationships between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, using words and phrases appropriately to express their ideas. There are some instances of repetition, and a few word choices could be improved. However, overall, the vocabulary is sufficient for the task.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The student uses a variety of sentence structures with generally good control of grammar. There may be a few minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement or word order, but they do not impede understanding.
Overall: 7
Based on the evaluation of the four criteria, the overall band score for this essay would be 7. The student presents a well-developed argument with a clear stance and provides relevant reasoning and examples to support their opinion. The essay is well-organized and demonstrates a good control of grammar and vocabulary.
Task Response: 7
The student clearly states their disagreement with the idea of universities accepting equal numbers of male and female students. They provide reasoning for their opinion, discussing the historical discrimination against women and how it has improved over time. They also argue that universities have the right to select their students based on their own goals and reasons. The arguments are developed and supported throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The student presents their arguments in a logical and cohesive manner. Linking words and phrases are used effectively to connect ideas and show relationships between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, using words and phrases appropriately to express their ideas. There are some instances of repetition, and a few word choices could be improved. However, overall, the vocabulary is sufficient for the task.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The student uses a variety of sentence structures with generally good control of grammar. There may be a few minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement or word order, but they do not impede understanding.
Overall: 7
Based on the evaluation of the four criteria, the overall band score for this essay would be 7. The student presents a well-developed argument with a clear stance and provides relevant reasoning and examples to support their opinion. The essay is well-organized and demonstrates a good control of grammar and vocabulary.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female
students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's society, the issue of gender equality is widely debated, even in the context of university admissions. While some argue that universities should accept an equal number of male and female students in every subject, I strongly disagree with this notion. Though it is true that historically women faced discrimination and were denied access to higher education, significant progress has been made in recent years. Therefore, universities should have the autonomy to determine their own admission policies based on their founding principles and educational goals, without being bound by the need for gender parity.
One of the main reasons why I disagree is that universities should prioritize selecting students based on merit and academic excellence rather than enforcing a strict gender quota. The primary goal of higher education institutions is to provide quality education and equip students with the necessary skills and knowledge for their chosen field. Therefore, it is essential that universities have the freedom to admit students based on their individual abilities and qualifications. If universities are forced to accept equal numbers of male and female students, they may have to compromise on the quality of their intake, as deserving students may be overlooked in favor of meeting quotas.
Moreover, it is important to acknowledge that significant strides have been made in promoting gender equality in education. Women in many societies now have equal access to education and can pursue higher degrees voluntarily. Therefore, enforcing gender quotas in university admissions may undermine the progress made in achieving equal opportunities for both genders. Instead, universities should continue to focus on creating an inclusive and supportive environment where all students, regardless of their gender, can thrive academically.
In conclusion, universities should be able to determine their own admission policies, independent of gender quotas, in order to prioritize academic merit and maintain the quality of education they offer. While gender equality is an important goal, significant progress has been made in recent years. As such, universities should have the autonomy to prioritize the admission of students based on their individual qualifications and abilities. [259 words]
Good expressions:
1. historically
과거에
2. face discrimination
차별을 당하다
3. denied access
접근을 거부받다
4. significant progress
상당한 진전
5. gender parity
성별 평등
6. autonomy
자율성
7. founding principles
설립 원칙
8. educational goals
교육 목표
9. merit
능력에 의한 선발
10. academic excellence
학문적 우수성
11. compromise on the quality
질에 어긋나다
12. individual abilities
개인의 능력
13. qualifications
자격
14. progress made
달성된 진전
15. equal opportunities
평등한 기회
16. enforce gender quotas
성별 할당량을 강요하다
17. undermine the progress
진전을 약화시키다
18. inclusive and supportive environment
포용적이고 지원하는 환경
19. thrive academically
학문적으로 성공하다
20. maintain the quality
질을 유지하다.
One of the main reasons why I disagree is that universities should prioritize selecting students based on merit and academic excellence rather than enforcing a strict gender quota. The primary goal of higher education institutions is to provide quality education and equip students with the necessary skills and knowledge for their chosen field. Therefore, it is essential that universities have the freedom to admit students based on their individual abilities and qualifications. If universities are forced to accept equal numbers of male and female students, they may have to compromise on the quality of their intake, as deserving students may be overlooked in favor of meeting quotas.
Moreover, it is important to acknowledge that significant strides have been made in promoting gender equality in education. Women in many societies now have equal access to education and can pursue higher degrees voluntarily. Therefore, enforcing gender quotas in university admissions may undermine the progress made in achieving equal opportunities for both genders. Instead, universities should continue to focus on creating an inclusive and supportive environment where all students, regardless of their gender, can thrive academically.
In conclusion, universities should be able to determine their own admission policies, independent of gender quotas, in order to prioritize academic merit and maintain the quality of education they offer. While gender equality is an important goal, significant progress has been made in recent years. As such, universities should have the autonomy to prioritize the admission of students based on their individual qualifications and abilities. [259 words]
Good expressions:
1. historically
과거에
2. face discrimination
차별을 당하다
3. denied access
접근을 거부받다
4. significant progress
상당한 진전
5. gender parity
성별 평등
6. autonomy
자율성
7. founding principles
설립 원칙
8. educational goals
교육 목표
9. merit
능력에 의한 선발
10. academic excellence
학문적 우수성
11. compromise on the quality
질에 어긋나다
12. individual abilities
개인의 능력
13. qualifications
자격
14. progress made
달성된 진전
15. equal opportunities
평등한 기회
16. enforce gender quotas
성별 할당량을 강요하다
17. undermine the progress
진전을 약화시키다
18. inclusive and supportive environment
포용적이고 지원하는 환경
19. thrive academically
학문적으로 성공하다
20. maintain the quality
질을 유지하다.
제출한 라이팅
It is argued that universities should select equal numbers of male and female students in the process of admission. I strongly disagree with this idea.
Way back then, many women could not go to universities because they were discriminated and expelled from the chance to pursue higher education. Even decades ago, many universities had higher male students, which was an unbalanced ratio of gender, leading to weakening women’s social status. To solve this problem, many universities used to accept a similar number of men and women in the past. I agree that this adjustment has contributed to gender equality in our society as a whole. However, the social status of women has risen a lot and many women are able to get their bachelor’s degrees voluntarily.
Universities have their own reasons of foundation and the goal of education. They have a right to select their students by those reasons and goals. If they prioritize one of the gender groups to balance out, they might need to select students who do not deserve to get in. This not only violates the liberties of admission policy of universities but also harms the fairness of the admission system because qualified students might not be accepted.
In conclusion, I believe every university should accept students by their own admission policies, regardless of the number of each gender, because the gender inequality problem has resolved a lot and universities have a right to accept students.
Way back then, many women could not go to universities because they were discriminated and expelled from the chance to pursue higher education. Even decades ago, many universities had higher male students, which was an unbalanced ratio of gender, leading to weakening women’s social status. To solve this problem, many universities used to accept a similar number of men and women in the past. I agree that this adjustment has contributed to gender equality in our society as a whole. However, the social status of women has risen a lot and many women are able to get their bachelor’s degrees voluntarily.
Universities have their own reasons of foundation and the goal of education. They have a right to select their students by those reasons and goals. If they prioritize one of the gender groups to balance out, they might need to select students who do not deserve to get in. This not only violates the liberties of admission policy of universities but also harms the fairness of the admission system because qualified students might not be accepted.
In conclusion, I believe every university should accept students by their own admission policies, regardless of the number of each gender, because the gender inequality problem has resolved a lot and universities have a right to accept students.
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