AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Two parts
Some people believe that the latest technology is creating a divide between rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses the task and provides arguments for both sides of the topic. The student states their opinion clearly and supports it with examples and explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is generally well-organized and cohesive. The ideas are clearly presented and there is a logical flow between paragraphs. However, there are some instances of repetition and the transition between ideas could be smoother.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate expressions. However, there are also instances of inaccurate word choices and limited use of more advanced vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The student generally uses a variety of sentence structures and demonstrates control of basic grammar. However, there are some errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and preposition usage.
Overall: 6.5
The essay shows a good understanding of the topic and the arguments are well-supported. However, there are areas for improvement in terms of organization, vocabulary, and grammar. Overall, the essay would likely receive a band score of 6.5.
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses the task and provides arguments for both sides of the topic. The student states their opinion clearly and supports it with examples and explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is generally well-organized and cohesive. The ideas are clearly presented and there is a logical flow between paragraphs. However, there are some instances of repetition and the transition between ideas could be smoother.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate expressions. However, there are also instances of inaccurate word choices and limited use of more advanced vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The student generally uses a variety of sentence structures and demonstrates control of basic grammar. However, there are some errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and preposition usage.
Overall: 6.5
The essay shows a good understanding of the topic and the arguments are well-supported. However, there are areas for improvement in terms of organization, vocabulary, and grammar. Overall, the essay would likely receive a band score of 6.5.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people believe that the latest technology is creating a divide between rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
[essay]
In today's rapidly advancing world, technological advancements are occurring at an unprecedented rate, leading to the production of new and innovative products. While some argue that these latest technologies bridge the gap between the rich and the poor, others contend that they exacerbate the divide based on financial disparities. This essay will examine both perspectives and provide my own views on the matter.
On the one hand, technology has significantly aided students in acquiring knowledge and experiences indirectly. Through the use of smart devices such as tablets and smartphones, students now have access to a wealth of educational resources. Furthermore, they can receive the same quality education regardless of their geographical location. For example, students residing in rural areas can attend online lectures conducted in metropolitan cities. This suggests that technology plays a crucial role in providing equal opportunities for all.
On the other hand, the frequent release of new and expensive technological devices creates a significant gap between the rich and the poor. While the affluent members of society can easily afford the latest smartphones, watches, and gaming devices, the financially disadvantaged individuals struggle to own such items. As a result, the rich gain exposure and experience with the most cutting-edge technologies, while the poor are left unaware of these advancements. This disparity in knowledge and exposure can greatly impact vital decisions such as choosing a college major or pursuing certain professions. Ultimately, this perpetuates the cycle of wealth accumulation among the privileged and the widening wealth gap between the haves and the have-nots.
In conclusion, although technology does enhance educational opportunities for all, it also contributes to the division between the rich and the poor due to the financial constraints associated with experiencing the latest technological advancements. It is undeniable that this division creates a sense of segregation within society.
[259 words]
Good expressions:
1. rapidly advancing world: 급속히 발전하는 세상
2. technological advancements: 기술적인 발전
3. new and innovative products: 새롭고 혁신적인 제품
4. bridge the gap: 격차를 좁히다
5. exacerbate the divide: 격차를 심화시키다
6. financial disparities: 경제적인 격차
7. acquire knowledge and experiences: 지식과 경험을 얻다
8. indirectly: 간접적으로
9. access to a wealth of educational resources: 다양한 교육자료에 접근할 수 있다
10. regardless of: ~에 상관없이
11. geographical location: 지리적인 위치
12. online lectures: 온라인 강의
13. crucial role: 중요한 역할
14. provide equal opportunities: 평등한 기회를 제공하다
15. frequent release: 빈번한 출시
16. financially disadvantaged individuals: 경제적으로 불리한 개인들
17. perpetuate the cycle: 순환 고리를 만들다
18. widening wealth gap: 넓어지는 부의 격차
19. division: 분단
20. sense of segregation: 분리감
In today's rapidly advancing world, technological advancements are occurring at an unprecedented rate, leading to the production of new and innovative products. While some argue that these latest technologies bridge the gap between the rich and the poor, others contend that they exacerbate the divide based on financial disparities. This essay will examine both perspectives and provide my own views on the matter.
On the one hand, technology has significantly aided students in acquiring knowledge and experiences indirectly. Through the use of smart devices such as tablets and smartphones, students now have access to a wealth of educational resources. Furthermore, they can receive the same quality education regardless of their geographical location. For example, students residing in rural areas can attend online lectures conducted in metropolitan cities. This suggests that technology plays a crucial role in providing equal opportunities for all.
On the other hand, the frequent release of new and expensive technological devices creates a significant gap between the rich and the poor. While the affluent members of society can easily afford the latest smartphones, watches, and gaming devices, the financially disadvantaged individuals struggle to own such items. As a result, the rich gain exposure and experience with the most cutting-edge technologies, while the poor are left unaware of these advancements. This disparity in knowledge and exposure can greatly impact vital decisions such as choosing a college major or pursuing certain professions. Ultimately, this perpetuates the cycle of wealth accumulation among the privileged and the widening wealth gap between the haves and the have-nots.
In conclusion, although technology does enhance educational opportunities for all, it also contributes to the division between the rich and the poor due to the financial constraints associated with experiencing the latest technological advancements. It is undeniable that this division creates a sense of segregation within society.
[259 words]
Good expressions:
1. rapidly advancing world: 급속히 발전하는 세상
2. technological advancements: 기술적인 발전
3. new and innovative products: 새롭고 혁신적인 제품
4. bridge the gap: 격차를 좁히다
5. exacerbate the divide: 격차를 심화시키다
6. financial disparities: 경제적인 격차
7. acquire knowledge and experiences: 지식과 경험을 얻다
8. indirectly: 간접적으로
9. access to a wealth of educational resources: 다양한 교육자료에 접근할 수 있다
10. regardless of: ~에 상관없이
11. geographical location: 지리적인 위치
12. online lectures: 온라인 강의
13. crucial role: 중요한 역할
14. provide equal opportunities: 평등한 기회를 제공하다
15. frequent release: 빈번한 출시
16. financially disadvantaged individuals: 경제적으로 불리한 개인들
17. perpetuate the cycle: 순환 고리를 만들다
18. widening wealth gap: 넓어지는 부의 격차
19. division: 분단
20. sense of segregation: 분리감
제출한 라이팅
Nowadays, the technology has improved every seconds and the new products including new technology are produced. Some people claim that the cutting edge technology encourage peoples gathering even they are rich or poor, other people believe that contributes to divide people as their financial situation. I will discuss about both side of this topic, and provide my opinion.
Currently, the technology help students to study something to have more experiences indirectly. Students can explore everywhere through their smart devices such as tablet computers or smart phones. Moreover they are able to get same education wherever they are living now. For instance, students who live in rural side, they can join the famous lectures that is occurred in the city through the internet. It seems like that the technology contributes them to provide equal opportunities.
The products including upcoming technology are released often, they release new models annually, and these devices are quite expensive for poor people. Although rich can purchase these devices like smart phone, watches or gaming devices when they want, poor cannot buy such devices. While rich can experience the latest technology, poor even cannot notice the new technology is coming. It can effect on their amount of knowledge and decisions when they have to make a serious decision such as their major in school or jobs in future. I believe that makes rich become more rich and poor become more poor.
In conclusion, while I agree that the cutting edge technologies give opportunities people to get equal education, I believe it can accelerate to divide between rich and poor due to cost for experiencing the new technology. It contribute to segregate people between rich and poor.
Currently, the technology help students to study something to have more experiences indirectly. Students can explore everywhere through their smart devices such as tablet computers or smart phones. Moreover they are able to get same education wherever they are living now. For instance, students who live in rural side, they can join the famous lectures that is occurred in the city through the internet. It seems like that the technology contributes them to provide equal opportunities.
The products including upcoming technology are released often, they release new models annually, and these devices are quite expensive for poor people. Although rich can purchase these devices like smart phone, watches or gaming devices when they want, poor cannot buy such devices. While rich can experience the latest technology, poor even cannot notice the new technology is coming. It can effect on their amount of knowledge and decisions when they have to make a serious decision such as their major in school or jobs in future. I believe that makes rich become more rich and poor become more poor.
In conclusion, while I agree that the cutting edge technologies give opportunities people to get equal education, I believe it can accelerate to divide between rich and poor due to cost for experiencing the new technology. It contribute to segregate people between rich and poor.
공유
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