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  • Opinion

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: 6
    The student has partially addressed the tasks by discussing both sides of the argument. They mention the importance of allocating funds for new housing and road development, and also highlight the significance of preserving old buildings. However, the opinion is not clearly stated, as the student says they "partly agree" but does not explain why. Additionally, there is no clear position throughout the essay.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 7
    The essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure. Each paragraph focuses on a different aspect of the topic, with clear topic sentences and supporting ideas. The ideas are presented in a coherent manner, and there is good use of linking words and phrases to connect the sentences and paragraphs.

    Lexical Resource: 7
    The student demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using a variety of words and phrases appropriately. There are also some less common words and expressions used, such as "paramount" and "cultural tourism". The student also uses some good collocations and idiomatic expressions.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
    The essay contains a range of sentence structures and there are no major grammatical errors that obscure the meaning. However, there are some minor errors in verb tense agreement and word order, as well as some awkward or repetitive sentence structures.

    Overall: 6.5
    Based on the above evaluations, the overall band score for this essay would be 6.5.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
    Model Essay:

    There is ongoing debate about whether government expenditure should be primarily focused on the restoration of old buildings in major cities or directed towards new housing and road development. While I agree that significant funds are required for the restoration of historical structures, I also believe that investment in new housing and road development is essential for urban growth and improved quality of life. Therefore, it is important to strike a balance between these two aspects in order to achieve sustainable development.

    One argument in favor of investing in new housing and road development centers around the increasing demand for affordable and modern accommodation as well as efficient transportation systems. As urbanization continues and cities expand, it is crucial to provide adequate housing for the growing population. In addition, well-structured road networks are essential for easy commuting and improved connectivity, which can contribute to economic growth and opportunities in various sectors.

    On the other hand, preserving old buildings carries significant cultural and historical value. These structures provide a glimpse into a city's past, reflecting its architectural heritage and unique identity. By restoring and maintaining historical buildings, cities can attract tourists, boost cultural tourism, and generate revenue. Moreover, preserving the historical charm of neighborhoods can enhance residents' sense of pride and attachment to their community.

    In conclusion, while substantial government expenditure is necessary for the restoration of old buildings in major cities, investment in new housing and road development should also be prioritized. Striking a balance between these two aspects is crucial for accommodating the growing population, improving urban infrastructure, and preserving cultural heritage. By combining these efforts, cities can achieve sustainable development, enhance residents' quality of life, and foster economic growth.

    [256 words]

    Good expressions:
    1. ongoing debate (진행 중인 논쟁)
    2. significant funds (상당한 자금)
    3. investment in (투자)
    4. urban growth (도시 성장)
    5. improved quality of life (향상된 삶의 질)
    6. strike a balance (균형을 맞추다)
    7. affordable and modern accommodation (저렴하고 현대적인 숙박시설)
    8. efficient transportation systems (효율적인 교통 시스템)
    9. adequate housing (충분한 주택)
    10. well-structured road networks (잘 구축된 도로망)
    11. economic growth and opportunities (경제적 성장과 기회)
    12. preserving old buildings (옛 건물 보존)
    13. cultural and historical value (문화적 역사적 가치)
    14. glimpse into a city's past (도시의 과거 엿보기)
    15. architectural heritage (건축 유산)
    16. unique identity (독특한 정체성)
    17. boost cultural tourism (문화 관광 촉진)
    18. generate revenue (수익 창출)
    19. preserve the historical charm (역사적 매력 보존)
    20. sense of pride and attachment (자부심과 연결감)
    제출한 라이팅
    I partly agree with the notion that the restoration of old buildings in major cities incurs significant government expenditure.
    Allocating funds for new housing and road development is crucial for accommodating the growing population and improving urban infrastructure. As cities expand and urbanization continues, the demand for affordable and modern housing, as well as efficient transportation systems, becomes paramount. Investing in these areas can enhance the overall quality of life for residents and stimulate economic growth.
    Preserving old buildings carries cultural and historical significance. These structures often serve as a window into a city's past, reflecting its architectural heritage and unique identity. By restoring and maintaining historical buildings, a city can attract tourists, boost cultural tourism, and generate revenue, thus contributing to its economic development. Additionally, preserving the historical charm of neighborhoods can enhance residents' pride and attachment to their community.
    In conclusion, while substantial government expenditure is required for the restoration of old buildings in major cities, I believe it is crucial to strike a balance between investing in new housing and road development and preserving cultural heritage.

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